Oh, Wait.. You Want Me To Pretend?

One of the problems with running a beauty blog is social media agencies who often assume that a) I’m 12, b) I blog about lipstick with fairy lights in my bedroom, c) that I know nothing about beauty and d) that I will do anything for money.

So, I’ll share a story of something that happened today – I’m not naming names because the who doesn’t really matter. It’s the what and the why that do.

I was booked for a filming job to talk about a product from a brand that I love for the first film, and for the second to give my recommendations for women aged 40+. Between Laura (my agent) and I, we had begged for a brief for over two weeks with the brief landing finally less than 24 hours before the shoot.

It became clear from the brief that what I was being asked to do was talk about products that I had never used, had no experience of and they were all heavily slanted towards anti-ageing and looking younger. It was made crystal clear from the very get-go that I’m an advocate of beauty at every age and that older women don’t necessarily want to focus on knocking off ten years, but more to celebrate their beauty at whatever phase they’re at. Clear, bright and fresh looking skin is my mantra, way before worrying about naturally occurring lines. Nothing will ever change for older women in beauty world unless it’s made clear over and over (like Helen Mirren did with L’Oreal when it came to retouching) that we’re fine! It’s okay to be older and looking ten years younger isn’t the priority of most older women. Older women are under pressure enough.

So, my list of products to ‘recommend’ were not products that I would have recommended in a million years. They were products chosen by someone years younger with the arrogant view that any older woman could only feel better if she’s ‘battling’ lines and signs of her age.

Despite trying to get the brief and offering input into the brief to include products I genuinely recommend for looking good (not ‘for your age’ or ‘in spite of your age’… just looking good, full stop), when I was presented with what was expected of me, I had to say no. I am not going to sit and lie my way through a video for money. My reputation is built on being mercilessly truthful!

We offered up various options and scenarios that we could make work, but they’ve found someone else to do it instead. Presumably, they’re going to lie their way through it so I can’t wait to see who it is.

So far, the brands involved are livid (with the social media team), cannot apologise enough – unlike the social media team who have yet to make any apology. I’m not letting this one go – it’s the ultimate insult to anyone over 40.

So, that’s the bare bones of it. But what’s upsetting about this more than anything is the awful assumption that bloggers will do anything for money. When my agent put it to the social media person that it wasn’t possible for me to do a whole film about a product I hadn’t tried or even seen, she was asked if I would make an exception. In other words, just pretend. Also that they work with lots of bloggers and other bloggers will make an exception. Oh, really? I’m not so sure.

I’m concerned that if bloggers are treated with such a lack of respect that it’s assumed they’ll do anything for exposure and money, then we’re on a slippery slope. I know this attitude; I’ve come across it before – brands use blogs as leverage to get their own brand spoken about favourably; nothing wrong with that if the product is great, but I have had emails that literally say, “We’re looking for exposure on our product so we want to send it to you to blog about.” It just doesn’t work like that (on this site, at least). It’s also a familiar scenario that social media is populated by a youth demographic who literally have zero experience in a) skincare and beauty and b) in the changing attitudes towards older women and their beauty.

I’m so mad about it – not so much the potential loss of income but the lack of respect and the absolute arrogance that a mere blogger could make skin care and beauty choices for the 40+ market that were more educated than someone from the social media team.

Bloggers spend hours on line every day talking to the very women that we’re writing for. We understand the emotion around beauty because we experience it with our readers, we have intuition around our audiences and we can react to it and with it. We are knee deep in good, bad and ugly products that we experience hands on and share our opinion. I will champion blogging all day every day as places that don’t abuse trust and don’t sprinkle sugar on everything.

We are everything that social media departments are not and can never be.


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37 responses to “Oh, Wait.. You Want Me To Pretend?”

  1. Darcey

    Absolutely couldn’t agree more on so so many levels. You’ve just articulated what I have been thinking about for a while now. I’m one of those women who likes knocking a few years off non-surgically – make up and lighting do such a great job of enhancing and I am brave enough to share my “before” photos because you know what? Even bare faced I am just fine thank you 🙂

    Loved finding you will be coming back – thanks for maintaining your integrity because without truth there is nothing.

    Love Darcey

  2. vickiaday

    Good for you honey ……… plus I now think we are in 2015 and social media agencies need to wise up and be honest that they don’t necessarily know everything and their cheezy corny ideas are not the best better to collaborate not stifle

  3. MontyC

    Bloody hell Jane! Don’t blame you one bit for being livid over it. I most certainly would be! They must think we all came down in the last shower. The balls of them to stand there, straight faced and go ‘doesn’t matter, just lie’. Sad thing is, they probably eventually found someone who would….

  4. Well said Jane that was so refreshing to read and to know that you would never lie to your readers and likewise i would never say a product was great if i didn’t think it was,why would we lie as i do youtube video’s and blog too when i can but i certainly wouldn’t tell my viewers to go and buy something if i didn’t like it,we are all different of course and some people like things and others don’t but i would give my views and the truth,plus your right,how on earth would you give a review good or bad on a product you had never used that’s absurd lol omg,i would love to know who asked you do do that and likewise who is doing it instead.
    I’m not a huge on youtube unlike you with your blog but i have still had companies email asking me to review things that have no connection to my blog or youtube and could i give a positive review if they sent me an item etc,but no it certainly doesn’t work like that so i have declined a few now,i have also been sent items and declined as the quality has been too bad.
    This is why i trust your opinion and always read your blog as i’m 36 not a spring chicken myself,thanks for being you xx♥xx

  5. philippa

    THIS is why I trust your opinions and reviews! (:
    ABlogByPhilippa

  6. I’m very angry on your behalf, I really am. You are one of the few bloggers I really, really trust. Trying to shatter your integrity is verging on criminal! I admire you for digging your heels in.

  7. Morag

    What an interesting read to see behind the smoke and mirrors. I am so with you that I don’t like ‘anti ageing’ or eye creams to blast laughter lines I have worked for, and would look like something weird without. My thoughts are if they are prepared to treat you like this – heaven knows what they think about the paying customer! Love reading the blog Jane, and knowing that I can continue to trust it. Thank you

  8. Sara Mathews

    Integrity, priceless, life enhancing and probably more beautifying than any product.
    Well done you x

  9. This post pretty much sums up why I follow your blog! It’s a sad truth now that there are lots of blogs out there, both big and small, that will write/do/say anything favourably towards a brand to keep in their good books and ‘get free stuff’, it irks me something shocking! The blogging world is hard enough to break into as it is, and when your up against those who will do and say the ‘right’ things, your less likely to ever get noticed for going against the grain. It’s so sad.

    I applaud you for sticking to your beliefs and telling them so! That’s something to be proud of right there and ALL bloggers could learn a thing or two from your story!

    Sarah 🙂
    Saloca in Wonderland

  10. Kim

    Thanks for your refreshingly honest post today. I’m a 56 year old who is sick to death of the beauty industry treating me like an idiot. By all means, promote products that are going to make me feel good and even look good because they’re filled with lovely ingredients, but please stop with the ‘anti-aging, line minimising, wrinkle zapping’ bullshit! If it were possible to look younger using lotions and potions I would look about 25 considering the amount of money I’ve spent on said lotions and potions over the years! I look great for my age, I’m post menopausal so everything isn’t quite as fabulous as it was when I was still in my 40s but that’s ok, I’m fit, healthy, stylish and work in retail with lovely clothes and lots of young colleagues to keep my on my toes!!! You are the only blogger I follow, I do sometimes click on your fabulosity list and whilst I enjoy what each of them has to say, yours is the only blog that’s bookmarked on my bookmark bar!!! I trust your opinion, you come across as very genuine and committed to informing your followers of the truth about products. Shame on the social media agency who thought otherwise.

  11. Thanks for staying true to your values Jane. I aspire to be honest and transparent with brands and companies as you’ve always done. It’s too bad this happened, but I love that you are sharing it, to make something positive come of the experience. <3

  12. Jane

    Thank you everyone for your support.. it’s so appreciated. I’m so angry about it but it’s always very happy making to get such lovely comments. You know now, why it’s impossible to let you down!

  13. Clare

    Totally with you on this one Jane. I wish these companies would just stop trying to cash in on insecurities created by the very companies themselves!! Hello Beauty Industry – I am 45 and I honestly like the way I look. I don’t want a time machine. I want to maintain healthy, even and clear skin with a bit of a glow. Jane – you are a fantastic blogger. I have been following your blog for years and we are totally behind you on this one. Your integrity is what makes you the blogger that we trust. xx

  14. Wow, what a post! I’m glad you didn’t give in to these people, I can’t believe how little respect they gave you, the whole scenario was downright outrageous! I’ve been a follower of your blog for at least the last 5 years, and still a fan. Keep up your honesty and all the good work!

  15. It sounds as though someone clearly thought you were a bit daft and had lost leave of your senses and clearly had never read your blog or seen your yourtube channel. Sadly it doesn’t stop there with some companies. All weekend and today ive seen tweets and threads from bloggers upset at how they have been taken advantage off by a blogger ‘pr’ company and it is really shocking – 3 links and a post for some mothers day flowers for them not to turn up, phone calls to bloggers from PR companies begging for people to take part in what is essentially free advertising and even today I had someone ask me to post an infographic for free (plus 3 last week) because they don’t have a budget but will share it on twitter, only this company hadn’t yet set up their twitter account. It really angers me and I am glad you stood up for yourself, it is like a breath of fresh air to read x

  16. This is great to read. Good on you for telling them to stick it. It just goes to show that some companies/people still don’t get what blogging is and think they can use it as just a platform to promote products.
    You are doing a fantastic job Jane!

  17. Joan

    Good for you, shows your integrity to your brand BBB that you don’t nMe the brands- social media teams involved, especially as it wasted your time and you lost income.

  18. Jane you are my hero! You not only inspire me to be a blogger, but you champion what people SHOULD love about beauty. Beauty thats suits the individual rather than the ideals of an agency. I can not believe a person, never mind a brand, could be so arrogant and rude, at least there are people like you brave enough to stand up to them 😀

    http://katsbeautytales.blogspot.co.uk/

  19. Marilene

    Thank you for the reflection on this issue. I guess this is the thing, any beauty related items are for many women a joy, which can be used in a beneficial way to enhance their own beauty and of course to play around ;-). What the media and beauty industry denies, is that also over 40+ women like to enjoy it from the same standards than younger ones do, just from their true age to enhance their beauty from where they are in real life and not to pretend to make them 10-20 years younger. The more it’s outrages how companies, media believe for money bloggers/vloggers do everything and on top to make them talk about something they have not had a chance to try and get an opinion. This shows from my point of view, the industry lost the respect towards the ones, they actually want to reach and sell their products. They pay companies/medias money to do this on their behalf regardless considering the consumers and the ones, e.g. bloggers are people who value and have an opinion.

  20. jvor84

    With my social media head on rather than blogger I really am curious to know who the agency is. My blogger head is interested to know who they got in to replace you!

  21. Thera

    Hey ho, well done, and so well said!
    Greetings from Amsterdam,
    Thera

  22. Maj

    Whoever the “who” and the “replacement” they should be ashamed of themselves! I always appalled at the dark side of beauty industry that decided feeding women lies and making them insecure about their fine lines/ armpits/cellulite is the best way forward! Beauty should be fun and honest and making one feel better, not worse! That’s the message I always got from BBB. Standing up for your values makes me respect you even more Jane! Keep up the great work that you do!

  23. legmore

    Love this! I work with bloggers and social media and am over 40…gosh! So often I see the younger generation dealing with bloggers as if they’ll just write anything. They frequently DO NOT (sorry needed caps!) seem to understand what they do and certainly do not understand the 40+ generation. The assumption is that we’re all desperate to rid of our lines and roll back the years. I like being 40 ‘something’! And lines…what lines?!

  24. Carly

    I’m 100% with you on this one. I worked in the beauty industry for 15 years, and specialised in skincare. I gave up my salon in 2011 to work in marketing. I find it shocking what some PR companies expect us to do as bloggers sometimes. Like yourself, I point blank refuse to ‘pretend’ for any amount of money, or worse a free product!

  25. the40somethingbeautyaddict

    Amen Sista! This is why being 40+ that I love your blog so much, feisty and honest, just like a real woman should be.

  26. Rather Dashing

    That’s just reminded me, you should read this, it’s all going down in Singapore, expose 1 and expose 2:

    http://xiaxue.blogspot.co.uk/

  27. Very well said! It’s really discouraging to see not only how people are handling this, but that so few seem to accept that many of us WANT to look our age! So many of us want to embrace who we ARE and look our best without making massive changes. I’m 31 years old and I’m so glad there are advocates like you leading the way for women of ALL ages. Great post!

  28. Jane, I think in some respects I’m not surprised by their actions. I believe (and this is my own personal opinion) there are bloggers/youtubers who actually do take up jobs like that. They are offered to be paid so that just go for it. I personaly feel that some “big” people are now doing work forgetting what they used to stand for. So I’m not surprised because obviously there is someone who will do it (as in your example, they did get someone else on board).

    I am very happy to hear that you are not one of them and this is why I appreciate your blog as I know it is honest and not biased.

  29. Natalie

    Always stick to your integrity. It is easy to spot when is just plugging a product for money. I don’t want to be negative, but so many bloggers seem to sell out and that is why I never look at their blogs again. You always are truthful and that is why I have been a consistent reader of your blog.

  30. olivia

    It is great to see you stand up to brands and to keep your integrity intact. I know many of the bloggers/vloggers out there will just jump at the chance of selling anything. Part of it has probably nothing to do with selling something they don’t use or know about but just the mystique of being in front of a camera and acting like some celeb or getting some celeb blogger status.

    I think many brands really want to capture the attention of the crowd who love lipstick and gaze at their fairy lights because why not give them the sense of growing old insecurely.

    As for us who grew up without the internet, we know what real people look like and where the beauty lies and it is in the wisdom of life and every wrinkle earned. As for the ones who will sell out, integrity will be lost. I wonder if the future of blogging will be like the news you choose to read, for example will you read The Independent or Daily Mirror?

    Good for you Jane for keeping what is true for you because if you stick to your guns, then others will learn to stick to theirs!

  31. Ashley

    Good on you. Brands / PR’S shouldn’t think that they can use bloggers as puppets. Your readers follow you for YOUR opinion, not the brands. Well done on standing firm.

  32. Rebecca

    Thank you for all of this. You are absolutely correct I think that some younger women assume that women over 40 wish they were younger when usually nothing could be further from the truth. This is exactly why we need more mature bloggers to cater to the very active and affluent 40+ market.
    As a blogger myself I’m glad to be 40+ and one of the main reasons is that I’m in a financial position to say no to featuring anything I don’t agree with (although losing money would still make me wince) and to really not care about free products. That’s very fortunate and very liberating in terms of what you can write.

  33. Heidi Barnett

    I bet you’re livid Jane! It’s about time there was ‘more’ honest advertising, but honesty comes with age and experience. I used to work in a spa where the manager was a snip of a girl, she lectured older clients dismissing what I had advised, with very little knowledge herself, and she filed nails with an emery board like she was sawing a log. It used to infurate me! I’m a newish blogger, but I’m an ex-therapist and won’t say I like something if I dont. I am proud to be over 40 with life lines, so good for you for saying ‘no!’
    Heidi x
    http://www.chronicbeauty.uk

  34. Lorraine – John, It’s Only Makeup

    I know that feeling. When a brand and its PR seem totally fine, you let them send you something and they flip – telling you what to write, when to write it, all that melding.

    Recently, a big brand did a blogger/vlogger competition for the Irish creators. There was a script given to vloggers, and a video format they had to stick to. If you made the video so that it’d, eh, benefit, the brand, you’d be entered into a prize draw for a holiday. Cringed when I read the brief, cringed when everyone started putting up copy cat videos, that disparage another product in favour of the one being promoted. Not a word of disclosure. So, so sly.

  35. Sue Hadley.

    At 54, I have succumbed occasionally to the over-inflated claims made about the anti-aging properties of a beauty product. I don’t want to turn the clock back- just slow it a little! If I can’t trust an opinion made by someone like yourself, that I have read for years, then I will stop reading, so I’m so happy that you stuck to your guns! I have recently stopped watching various youtubers who have ,in the last year, become mouthpieces for their own products or who are clearly being managed to talk more and more about products they are given. Most of them are so young and privileged their opinion means very little to me in any case! It’s irritating and not what I started watching for!

  36. I’ve been blogging actively for almost 5 years now and I have met many PR’s who need an education in the bare basics of human relationships, but a few weeks ago something totally blew up in my face. i started working at a really great online store as a marketing specialist and had to face the ugly truth – there are so many sample seekers out there that most PR’s consider bloggers something annoying and even desperate… I wasn’t prepared to be under this hell fire as a blogger from my new colleagues, and had to do my best to continue being proud to be a beauty blogger actually…

    Point is – yes, I think PR’s think we will do anything for money/samples, and this opinion is based on crappy bloggers who would actually do anything for money/samples.

    We just need to keep doing what we do best and be as honest as possible – being clean before ourselves is obvious enough to our readers 🙂

    PS. It’s so comforting to hear you speak about ageing in such a way. I am still fighting spots and oiliness, but I can see the first lines and my skin becoming duller year after year. If it weren’t for women like you, I’d be going nuts thanks to the media 🙂

  37. What a wonderful article – it’s such a shame to see the misconceptions surrounding bloggers these days, I’ve interned at companies and it’s clear within a few days that they simply don’t understand bloggers and why they’re writing. It’s not about the money, it’s about sharing the passion and I think a lot of companies forget that.

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