I went to bed last night thinking there is no point in blogging until at least the new year, but woke up this morning feeling that there is every point in terms of continuity and keeping any small thing that feels ‘normal’ in your inboxes or on your phones. I’ve deserted Twitter for the time-being – it’s a very hard place to be when recent news is so raw and everyone is so angry and upset and to be honest, I just need to keep my head together. Other than essential food shopping, we are in and staying so, focussing on being in touch with older family members by phone – although my mum has mastered Zoom so we can do that at least.
It’s very hard, all of this. The only thing to do is get through it any way you can – I think the other side of Christmas will feel very different to how things feel now. I almost wish it was Christmas day tomorrow so we are shot of it and can just move through these days at an easier pace where lack of activity doesn’t matter quite so much. But, we got through it the first time and we can again – I think I have felt this second time harder than the first – but I keep reminding myself that we managed then and we will now. We know so much more about the science, we know what we have to do – wearing masks doesn’t feel strange or weird any more, we sanitise everywhere we go and we know what to avoid so in many ways, we are better prepared for it. It feels calamitous now but it won’t be forever and this feeling that we probably all have of fear, disappointment and anger will pass too. You won’t have to live with these feelings forever… the end point isn’t clear yet but there will be one. Look how we’ve managed to incorporate such differences to our lives so far… we’ve done well. What’s helping me right now – a bit – is over-the-counter sleep medicine that allows me not to wake 8 times a night but has pared it to an easy two (you can take them for two weeks and I need to point out that it isn’t a recommendation, it’s a personal strategy), yoga (try the big shrug – that’s definitely not the yoga term! – but raising your shoulders towards your ears as far as you possibly can, breathing in as you go, and then allow them to drop quickly on an out breath), get out for the permitted walk if you feel comfortable and are able to do so… any change of scene really blows the cobwebs away. I am doing a robin spot to make it feel purposeful – they’re not that common round here so I’m aware it’s probably a task made to fail but I will still look! Try to give your day some shape – if you are still working you are retaining some shape which is good – if you’re not, plan something for the morning (perhaps take your walk), something for the afternoon (maybe exercise of some sort, or tidying that cupboard you’ve been meaning to do for nearly ever OR going through your clothes for things to donate when it’s possible again). It doesn’t matter what you plan but doing things, if you’re able, helps, I find.
I don’t think I know anyone who hasn’t got some level of anxiety at the moment – you can use this space to share your tips if you’d like to – I know that others (me included) would be grateful for anything that has helped you navigate anxiety. Everyone’s personal circumstances are different and some burdens are harder to bear – intensely so, but we will come through somehow. So, to conclude this lengthy post (sorry!), I have a few beauty things to blog about (nobody feels like shopping, I know, so it’s just for your general information) and I’ll put a couple of favourites posts up too… it’s as much to give my own day some grounding shape as it is to express gratitude to readers and that I have this place at all.
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