I’ve had my worst self tan experience to date recently. My body is now considerably more art intallation than holiday in St Barths, which will no doubt serve me right for trying to look like I had a luxurious winter break. Actually, my face was the only part of me that the tan settled evenly on – thank god. At least the rest can be covered until it fades. Sadly, the USP of this particular tan – and yes, I’ll name and shame so nobody else has to go through this shocker (it’s EcoTan Spray) – is that it lasts at least a week. Lessons learned from my freaky streaky stage? Get a spray tan done professionally or stick to lotion self tans or mousses that can be evenly rubbed in. I swear by Sisley Self Tan for a light and utterly realistic look with a topping of Clinique Quick Bronze Tinted Self Tanner Mousse for days when a bit more bronze is essential. Marks & Spencer Tanning Mitt is an absolute essential for avoiding the orange finger giveaway.

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