It’s okay – I’m not calling for a ban on delicious French crepes with a generous swirl of whipped cream and a drizzle of chocolate sauce; it’s the name of a body/face cream. How depressing. Just when we’re learning how to improve the ways in which we talk to older women, along comes this brand to set us back a few miles. It’s a complex to visibly improve your ‘dry, ageing and crepey’ skin. Happy new year to you, too Guthy Renker – brand behind Crepe Erase.

Apparently, it will get your skin to ‘snap back’ to a more youthful place. I don’t really know how they’re allowed to make such a claim – if your skin is snapping at all, call the doctor.

100% of testers (29, cough, of them) say they saw a reduction in visible signs of ageing (unspecified), instantly healthier feeling skin (?), skin felt softer and more supple (as it would after any moisturiser) and miraculously, 100% felt that they felt confident in revealing their skin again. Note the suggestion in the trial results that should you have *crepey* skin, you shouldn’t be showing your body at all.

This is the stuff of American infomercials (it is in fact advertised as an infomercial in the US) and it’s endorsed by Jane Seymour (aged 65) who calls it life-changing and appears on the website looking about 35.

Although I’ve been offered this product to test, I wouldn’t, purely on the grounds of the horrible name, but in any case, Allure magazine already tested it and found it no more moisturising and ground breaking than a, er, normal moisturiser. At least a tub of Nivea makes no suggestion that you should have been covered up in the first place in case your unslightly crepes offended anyone. They discovered the product also contains dimethicone, often used in make up primers because it sits on top of the skin allowing it to look smoother.

If your skin is creping – or creasing, as I’d prefer to call it, it needs hydration (maybe some retinol, maybe some hyaluronic) above anything else, and it’s mostly down to age related loss of collagen and a reduction in the oils that your skin naturally produces. Personally, I feel skin supplements can help, as can regular exfoliation and hydration. But what you don’t need at any point is a product that makes you feel more downcast about how you look than before you started using it with meaningless trials and nothing much in it to do anything to tackle more than dry skin.

One to avoid if only for the sheer horror of staring at it on the bathroom shelf day after day.

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