2008…In which we saw:

The Bird Poo Facial: You can get enzymes that exfoliate and soften the skin anywhere. You’ll never need to rub your face with crap to be beautiful – just so you know.

Anti-ageing Perfume: At the risk of sounding like the Widdie of beauty, a fool and their money are soon parted. The journalist who wrote in a national newspaper that it truly made her feel very youthful indeed should be sent back to writing college to take the truth class.

Beautifying Waters: No matter how cross it makes the inventors, I’m still utterly unconvinced that drinking vitamin infused water will make you look even vaguely prettier, so my advice is to drink it with low expectations.

The Live Snake Massage: Wrong on many levels, not least an animal welfare one.

Eyebrow Transplants: For vanity reasons alone, such a past of overplucking, I’m filled with horror at this, but for genuine disfigurements, it’s a huge leap.

There are many, many more – flab freezing, sun tan injections, etc, but I’d love to know your 2008 beauty horrors – please do share!

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