This is one of those knee-jerk posts in reaction to learning that one of my favourite bloggers is closing her blog. Why? Well, despite being articulate, well travelled and a hard-core beauty fanatic, she’s been subject to a disproportionate amount of abuse, both personal and racial. I might add that amongst beauty bloggers, I think she has been well supported; she is certainly very well liked, but the main protagonists come from beauty forums around the world. She is of Asian descent, but to some she isn’t quite ‘Asian’ enough; to others she is ugly, to yet another faction, she has too much money to spend on beauty products. She has been the subject of mockery, derision and the worst possible kind of written abuse, including identity theft, because she has a beauty blog.
We all have a certain number of ‘haters’, and the internet is a very easy place to be ‘brave’ on when you don’t have to face your target and can hide behind anonymity. That’s a subject all on its own. But, really? Racism and beauty? How in the world do these two things collide? Beauty is open to subjection, but surely it should be a unifier.
It pretty well boils down to forums, where gang mentality allows certain groups to round on one individual. This bloggers most looked at post, that generated literally thousands of hits, came from a forum abroad, accusing her of being an old crone kept by her husband who shouldn’t wear make up. Those who profess to be against internet bullying are quite happily throwing personal comments into the forum ring – and sometimes outside of that – under the guise of discussion and can often use exclusion of others as a key weapon. It’s not a discussion if you are making threats, unpleasant personal comments, racial attacks or implications about another individual; it is out and out bullying. And, it’s nothing to do with beauty either; it’s a more hateful agenda than that. It is people so desperate to be part of something that they’ll swim with the shoal because the feeling of being accepted is far superior than the morality of the situation. The exclusion issue is the same. There are many faces of bullying.
Ultimately, the key lies in responsible forums where abuse of any nature is not tolerated and is swiftly moderated. I’d urge beauty lovers not to join forums or organisations where this is not the case; however benign it seems at the time it is literally the strokes on a keyboard that could make you the next subject of the same unpleasantness. Reporting abuse is absolutely key, and feeding back on those that are not ‘safe’ forums is also a good way to spread the word. If nobody joins in, then the words might as well not have been said.
All in all though, it is a very sorry state of affairs that allows racists and bullies to use the umbrella of beauty to unleash their hateful words. If you see it, report it and stop it.
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This sort of behaviour is beyond disgraceful. I’m yet to experience any true ‘haters’ on my site, bit I am sure it is only a matter of time. There is one particular forum in Australia that is just disgraceful, but incredibly popular. In an effort to combat this, I created my own forum and I dread the day I need to address any sort of hatred or vilification. That said, its not something I would be prepared to tolerate on my turf.
I thought what you wrote about joining in in order to be part of something was very insightful. I’ve seen it happen often before (not just beauty forums) and it’s easy for people not to realise that they’re to all intents and purposes, ganging up on another person.
It’s very sad that JC has been subjected to such nastiness and I completely understand the decision to stop blogging. I can’t imagine there are many hobbies that expose you to such abuse!
This is so sad. Your friend shouldn’t shut down her blog for some lowlife who’s are obviously jealous of any success she’s had with her blog.
People are so cruel.
This kind of thing is bad enough on Twitter and it makes me sad when beauty bloggers turn on each other.
However, what you have described goes to another level of jealousy and hatred.
I don’t understand the mentality of gangs and cliques.
The internet can be a cowards paradise where fools will voice their hatred for people they don’t know, safe in the knowledge that they can be anonymous.
It’s just sad.
I would like to know which forums you are refering to so I can avoid them too.
Thanks BBB for highlighting this.
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It is a shame that this has happened and I want to send my thoughts to the blogger. It’s a shame that people can’t put hating into something more positive for themselves rather than get their kicks from bringing other people down.
It’s a shame that the haters cannot do something more positive for themselves rather than get their kicks from bringing others down. My thoughts are with this blogger x
This is beyond disgusting.
As you know, I own a forum. It is quiet in comparison to most (roll on the new mobile friendly one), but we have a team of 7 moderators who are ACTIVE members of the forum and would be straight in if there was anything untoward going on.
However, even at our peak a few years back, before the days of Twitter and Facebook, there was never any nastiness going on. Occasional disagreements, but never out and out bullying or spite.
As a creator and owner of one forum, and member of others I would urge anyone who is considering joining a forum to spend some time watching and observing the activity on there before joining.
Check how its moderated and who by.
Make sure its a forum with a purpose, not just a place to ‘hang out’ as its those that insight hatred. People with too much time on their hands.
There is never any need for abuse in any form, and that JC got it is deplorable.
Please send her my love BBB.
Yep, I’ve heard Anitacska’s type of comments before. “Not to everyone’s taste” = UGLY. That’s why you’ll never see my face on the internet again.
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I haven’t had any bad reactions yet, but it’s sad that people attack each other for the things they have or do.
It’s so easy to spew vile nonsense from behind the pc, but they always stay anonymous.. Just sad cause if they would have a blog and get the same treatment, they’d think twice before bashing others for what they spend their money on!
Yes, I am staying away from the Internet for a while – that’s why I am shutting down my blog permanently. Perhaps it’s your expression in English, but it just didn’t come out very sympathetically. Please understand that I’ve been attacked by a LOT of Eastern European women using “sympathetic” language, a key reason for my leaving the blogging community.
I don’t know of the blog you’re referring to but I am as upset as if I did. What is up with the internet beauty community at the minute? Bloody Hell. Grow up people. Get a clue! Insulting other people will not make you a better a person, infact it makes you a bitter ugly person. So stop it!! Treat others as you would wish to be treated. And the racism? Argh. Don’t get me started.
That’s sad and disgusting and a shame… People are simply not mature enough to use the www ! I already said it on another blog (on a similar topic) : if I don’t like a blog I’m free to leave – but why abuse?!
Who said that one has to be beautiful to wear & experiment with makeup??? Heck most of us out here are not ‘everyone’s taste’ and it’s great to see Bloggers who are REGULAR people & not what society deems beautiful/ perfect.
I will most certainly miss the information & the super variety of high end products which I got to see ‘in action’ on the Blog in question. The reviews encouraged me to many a purchase:)
Please know that there are a LOT of us out here who LOVE your blog…. and the fact that you’re NOT just another ‘everyone’s taste’. You WILL be missed!
I am deeply saddened to hear this news. As a woman and beauty blogger, I have the utmost respect for anyone who is willing to share their thoughts with the internet community through blogging. I can’t believe that people can be so cruel as to attack another person like this.
I quite forums a long time ago because of the nasty high school clique attitudes. I’m sorry to learn a fellow beauty blogger feels she must close her blog, but its understandable in the circumstances.
I hope she will find her voice again in the near future.
What was done/and being done to JC and other bloggers is disgusting. We ask ourselves why society is the way that it is, yet people often turn their cheek.
Looks have nothing to do with beauty blogging. It takes courage to post pictures of ones face with all the “computer ninjas” out there. The love of beauty is what is had and shared with others. Unfortunately, some people were a**holes as kids and remain that way as adults **cough cough cyber bullies**
As a loyal reader to many beauty blog am I heartbroken the some blogs have been shut down, but I understand that it must be done to protect an individuals identity.
I have no idea who you are refering to, but regardless of that I think it is appalling how there is so much bullying and gang mentality online against beauty bloggers/gurus. It’s awful that her ethnicity had to be dragged into it as well – such things should be off limits imo. If I don’t like a blog, I just close the page and not return, why is it so hard for others to not do the same?
So very sad and unnecessary… 🙁
This is a tragic result of people being gaurded by anominity! i am not familiar with the blog you are talking about but no-one deserves this! i love your blog and am new to all of this so please, if you have a chance can you check mine out http://misseelle.blogspot.com/ xo
I love Jamelia’s blog and it’s been in my computer ‘favourites’ for years now and I am so sorry to hear that she is closing it down.
I do understand Jamelia’s reasons to be upset but please let’s do not make these generalisations about Easterneuropean women that are slashing beauty bloggers of other ethnic origin either on their own blogs or forums. Some nasty individuals cannot jeopardise respect of Polish beauty blogging community towards Asian (and other foreign) beauty bloggers! Please do not think that way.
I am Easterneuropean myself (not a beauty blogger though, rather an avid reader of these blogs but I work in creative environment and simply like to look good), reaching my mid 30s and I was very interested in finding more information about cosmetics that would work in professional environment for ladies like me. Jamelia’s blog was extremely helpful and informative – I would like to thank her for that!
I am genuinely shocked that these are the reasons for her to close her blog down. It will be dearly missed in the beautyblogs land but after reading the comments here (I have no idea which forum would allowed this kind of behaviour?!)I can understand her decision.
Please do not hold a grudge against Easterneuropean ladies – these hateful remarks must have originated from some sad individuals that should be pitied but I suppose that also from wrongly interpreted cultural differences – people in that part of Europe are used to quite a brutal criticism about their look, a permanent scrutiny of their looks AND age and they do not believe in subtleties much…Life can be really tought there, trust me – I have never been a popular girl at school 😉 I have realised it even more when I moved to Scotland (it is my 5th year here) where luckily people are nonjudgemental and much more tolerant than they are for example in Poland.
I hope that Jamelia will recover from this unpleasant incident and will be back in the beauty blogging. With a vengeance!
Hi Illustrious: thank you for your comments but want to make it really clear that there is a distinction between my post that looks at bullying in general without implicating any countries or races whatsoever to Jamilla’s where she specifies where she has encountered problems. She is fact-relaying I think rather than pinpointing any particular countries; it just happened to be those places that she encountered problems, but could just as easily have been anywhere else in the world including the UK. This post isn’t really intended for any country-specific discussion, but more for the wider issue of bullying which is not tied to any particular country but seems to happen all over the world in some form or another.
Thanks BBB for raising this point. For a number of years I’ve been aware of the hater forums dedicated to being mean about beauty bloggers and find them really unhelpful and unfriendly.
It can be dispiritng to be criticized by internet trolls
but there exist so many good and positive people that I feel it’s s shame to let the naysayers bring a good blogger down. Thinking of the blogger and wishing her well, and hoping more people adopt a good attitude online.
Very saddened to hear that Jamilla has had this happen to her. Was a fab of the blog, and I found it innovative – as someone who is mixed race, it was good to see a blog that highlighted the beauty issues some mixed race people face. Its completely unacceptable that people feel they can bully others just because they’re anonymous – makes me furious.
I hadn’t discovered the blog but I am very sad to hear what has happened to the blogger. The anonymity of the web seems to reveal people’s true characters and some folk just aren’t that nice. Good luck with your future and a pox on the on the bullies.
Just spent the last hour or so looking at JC’s wonderful blog, wish I’d discovered it earlier.
Thank you for your clarifying answer – I was addressing my comment rather to Jamelia’s cone above where she states (quoting): ‘I’ve been attacked by a LOT of Eastern European women using “sympathetic” language, a key reason for my leaving the blogging community.’
This was the issue I wanted to address in my comment. I hope it is clear now!
people really need to get a life. it takes a lot to put yourself out there and i just don’t understand why it makes sense to be malicious to someone you don’t even know. thank you for speaking out against this kind of bullying! xo