Badly Named Beauty Products

Ancient Beauty
Ancient Beauty

I love Rituals, but guys, what were you thinking with your Ancient Beauty gifting set? Not sure any of us wants to be on the recieving end of a set that reads like it’s destined for Ancient Beauties!

Old Spice Trimmer
Old Spice Trimmer

Braun’s Old Spice Trimmer might be intended for men, but all I can think of here is Geri Halliwell wrestling with her bikini line.

Not Your Mother's Intensive Hair Unit
Not Your Mother’s Intensive Hair Unit

I spotted this on xojane.com – I have the same immediate thoughts. My Mum. Life support. No, no, no! The blurb is even worse.. “Do you hear the sirens? Has someone called CODE BLUE on your hair? Then it’s time for a trip to the emergency groom¿ I mean room.” Not sure I’ve seen such pun clangers in a long, long while.

I love My Muff
I love My Muff

So, yes, this is exactly what you think it’s for. It’s less the overall name than the tagline, “For Muffs On The Move”. Because now all I can think about is independently travelling.. well.. muffs..

Guerlain Coque D'Or Lipstick
Guerlain Coque D’Or Lipstick

“I hope you don’t mind if I get my Coque out at the dinner table.” I know.

If you know any better Badly Named Beauty Products, tell me!

 


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13 responses to “Badly Named Beauty Products”

  1. Sam

    Oh, this is a hoot!!! Thank you!!!

  2. I have a Maybelline Color Show nail polish in my collection called “Watery Waste” which is such a horrid name for a pretty polish. It actually pains me to type out the name.

  3. Linda

    Hilarious! Thanks for the giggle x

  4. MsWildthyme

    NARS Audacious Lipstick called Fanny. No British person in their right mind is going to buy a lipstick called Fanny. *cries*

    http://www.temptalia.com/product/nars-cosmetics-audacious-lipstick/fanny

  5. Taslima

    haha this is hilarious!

  6. i had a good laugh. Thanks

  7. Sadra

    My personal pet peeve: Revlon Moisture Stains – eeewwwww!

  8. ClaireN

    Loreal GlamShine Stain Splash…the name made me retch every time an advert came in TV. I can’t imagine how it ever got to market without someone objecting.

  9. Sabrina

    The only one I can think of off the top of my head is an Urban Decay eye-liner called Asphyxia. Terrible name for a lovely colour.

  10. Suzanne

    COCK DOOR. that is crazy.

  11. Glad I wasn’t drinking anything as I was reading through this list!! “Independently travelling muffs” – that is probably going to make me giggle for the rest of the day. These are all products from established companies I can’t believe there was no one that questioned the names before going into production!

  12. Jemma

    In Italy there is a brand called WJcon and they make a cream eyeshadow called creamy push.

  13. Rony

    Aveda Hand Relief, always makes me chuckle.

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