Top Embarrassing Signs of Ageing

I’m embarrassed actually to have this a blog post heading, but today I received a press release with exactly the same title, so I thought I’d flag it up as a ‘How Not To’ talk to older women about their beauty. It’s beyond me how anyone thought this was a good idea – there’s certainly nothing embarrassing about ageing but in case you’re interested, here are those mortiying signs of being older than you used to be:

Hair Thinning

Wrinkles & Sun Damage

Weight Gain

These are all legitimate concerns for many women (and men) but the release is scattered with words like ‘detested wrinkles’ and ’embarrassing beer belly’ – anyone would think there was simply no hope for anyone past 50. You can have concerns about how you look at any age so this is a magnificent example of age-shaming. As I go along, I’m asking PRs if they can think of words to better describe the processes that skin can through as we get older. Other than the old anti-ageing that’s wheeled out every five minutes. To be fair, I am no more able to come up with significantly better to describe the state of wanting to look nice when you’re 50+! I use the words age neutral to describe products where age is irrelevant, or age inclusive to describe how I write my blog, but how to say ‘I don’t need to look young to look great’ or ‘I am very happy to be the age I am but I’d like lovely skin care please’ – there are no short ways that I can think of to wrap these sentences up. I use Beauty+ as an indicator that a product is more relevant to an older woman than a young woman in the particular cases where that applies (hence the BeautyPlus portion of my blog).

I’m also asking directly, when presented with an ‘anti-ageing’ product which part of my face specifically the PR or brand thinks will benefit from the product. NOBODY wants to say it out loud, let me tell you! It has yet to happen that any brand rep is comfortable pointing out my ‘flaws’ despite trying to convince me it’s a product that older women ‘need’. Seems it’s okay for the label to say it, but to actually say it to my face has proven more difficult when the reality of the anti-ageing message is laid bare.

If you have any words that describe the okayness of being older but the desire to have decent skin and to love beauty products not because you’re older but because you just love beauty without mentioning anti-ageing or age shaming, please let me know what they are!

The more that brands try to convince women that it’s somehow shameful or embarrassing to be older, the less that influencers in the field are going to take any notice of them. The tide has turned – the more older journalists and bloggers I speak to the more I realise that age shaming in the beauty industry is going to be challenged, questioned, argued with and named and shamed.

 

 


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19 responses to “Top Embarrassing Signs of Ageing”

  1. N

    When as certain brand says “love the skin you’re in “surely that applies at every age? I agree with you Jane. Most of us want to look good full stop. If brands are too narrow to understand that they need to engage with all consumers then they should be boycotted. Fresh, vital, smooth, soft, glowing, clean, plump, healthy, radiant, perky are words that should not be reserved for beauty at any age. Many “beauty” problems I had in my youth are long gone ; but I was still beautiful then, just in a different way. The PRs and brands need to fix their game but they are not alone. In most media articles on any subject, there is almost always a reference to age no matter what, male or female and a sneering attitude that marvels that anyone over 35 hasn’t become a burka -wearing hermit by choice. How utterly ridiculous. Who decided youth was to be worshipped and that older people just moan about list youth? Why can’t we enjoy the life we’ve had and are having? Poppycock and balderdash.

    1. N

      Lost youth! Clearly need my glasses.

  2. tigerbabe68

    Really tricky linguistically. The only things I can think of would be instead of anti-ageing or anti-wrinkle cream, skin-perfecting, skin-improving, skin-refining, that type of thing as it refers to any age group with or without wrinkles who just want to improve, perfect or refine their skin. If the product’s main aim is to reduce wrinkles though, not sure how they say that without implying that if your skin is less taut than a 16 year old’s then you need help!

  3. Age-shaming is such a preposterous concept. The very fact is, is that we are all a victim of time.

    We don’t need to fear losing beauty as well as everything else were fear losing as we grow old.

    Women experience life long shame: aging, periods, dare I say masturbation. We did not need another unnatural expectation to live to. No thank you.

  4. Natalie

    I am clearly not the target consumer for “anti-aging” marketing. I have more self confidence now at 42 and don’t dye my hair and usually don’t wear much if any makeup, which ironically I used to do in my 20’s. I’ve grown into myself if that makes sense. I use good gentle skin care with antioxidants and sun protection without ridiculous claims. Eating and sleeping well and having a healthy lifestyle is just as important. I just ignore the obnoxious ads and marketing, but I know you are exposed to it all the time in your work. I’d say having a fresh complexion is timeless. Taking care of your skin to keep it healthy also.

  5. Ashley

    I don’t mind “Pro-age”. I think the connotations are positive.

  6. Brands that message like this are leaving money on the table!

  7. Speaking out shames those practising this pernicious art, one day the PR people will be over 40 and their words will come back to haunt them!

  8. It’s great to hear the beauty industry being challenged on the language it uses and the insecurities and fears it creates in order to sell products. I’m an advertising copywriter and I know how much the process involves deliberately creating a problem nobody was aware of before. BO was a term coined by advertisers to sell deodorant – nobody thought about it before, they just washed.

    Think about the things we are now being offered and how they ‘cure’ problems nobody thought about twenty years ago: glow-creators, pore-blurrers, and pigmentation-faders… Nobody thought of these things as signs of ageing until we were told they were signs of ageing. Freckles and brown marks were a sign of a healthy outdoor lifestyle, now they’re signs of ageing.

    I’m almost 50 and I still have spots, particularly linked to hormones and to stress. They are my biggest skincare issue, along with some pigmentation along my jawline from a slapdash attitude to sunscreen while skiing for many years. I still use products for oily skin, and am heartily glad to have discovered Alpha H, as it showed there are at least some women out there with skin like mine.

    I’m with Tigerbabe, above: I think we would be better served with descriptive skincare labels: hydrating, firming, smoothing, exfoliating. It’s the approach Hydraluron has taken and look at how successful that is! We are moving towards being much more informed consumers who combine a serum from one range with a moisturiser from another and a hydrator from a third.

    There’s only so much we copywriters can fit on a product’s packaging, we need brand managers to give us some scope to write something interesting and stop shackling us with old thinking. Here’s a great example of what can be done when you look at things from a different angle: I’m about to use a night cream that was recommended to me by a 40 year old friend who called it magic. It’s a cheapie from Garnier called “Moisture Restore” and there is nothing about anti-ageing on it; instead there’s a lot about rehydration. It is, however called “Beauty sleep”, which is a great name for a night cream. It’s a cracking little bit of copywriting and that single line has sold it to me as much as my friend’s recommendation.

    1. Jane

      I agree with all your points – the wider issue is that marketing and advertising needs more older women in the frame at conception stage to manage the message with authority and more importantly, knowledge.

  9. dottoressa

    I agree with you Jane and N.
    How hard for young PRs and lot others to understand that we are not in battlefield fighting for our” lost youth”, but we simply want to look and feel best we can,with beauty products which have to be age appropriate (because, as the strategy to heal acne is not the same with 15 years ,as it is with 35, so it is with some other skin or hair or body conditions)
    I use dr Hauscka face products,and there are revitalizing,regenerative ,soothing,etc creams for mature skin,without screaming anti age. But it is completely different concept
    Like your blog
    Dottoressa

  10. Tiffany

    My best friend died of breast cancer at 34….I am certainly not embarrassed to be older…I’m bloody grateful to be here at all! X

  11. I use the phrase “skin rejuvenating” or “skin rejuvenation” or “restorative” when describing products or treatments that I use.
    Skin – regardless of one’s physical age can be in need of resurfacing, smoothing, firming or brightening depending on the damage its sustained through sun exposure, smoking etc.
    Age alone isn’t a reason for skin being in need of treatment and isn’t a barrier to beautiful healthy radiant skin. I see young women with skin showing greater signs of “age” than my clients in their fifties. Great article Jane

    1. Jane

      that’s really well put Diane. x

  12. Loved this. In Malaysia, beauty sales assistant or if you go to a beauty service (facial/massage whatever), the people working will tell you things like “your face is SO OILY you NEED this” and basically make sales by shaming the customer. When I was younger I have fallen trap for this, but now I know better. Even at the gyms, “you are REALLY OVERWEIGHT”, actually stop trying to fat-shame me as I am in a normal BMI…

    I think that it is important that as consumers we make it clear to brands that we do not like the way they label things! Are they aiming for as rude as possible? *sorry rant over*

  13. Liz G.

    Here’s another sign of aging that can go along with hair thinning, etc. You really don’t give a #%!# about it! The alternative to aging is death so I’ll take “aging” any day over that. Brands like this are losing customers with their attitudes toward us.

  14. Zulmira

    Auch, I’m 29 years old and somehow I have those signs.

    Oh My God, I’m aging!

    But trust me, I prefer 1000 times my 29 year old, snow white skin and controlled psoriasis than a 20 year old, fullblown outbreaks of acne and out of control psoriasis.

    I love beauty but most of the times we’re shamed to buy products we don’t need just because we are made aware they are going to change our life.

  15. Annette

    The best meme I’ve seen about ageing is ‘ Do Not Regret Growing Older – It’s a Privilege Denied to Many. I love my beauty products and treatments but I don’t let them hold me hostage for living my life to the full!

  16. Emilia

    I feel like the issue is around positive and negative language. Many products are called “brightening, refining, plumping, improving” on their packaging and then advertised on TV etc using the anti-this/that phrasing which really is where the age shaming comes in. If you weren’t worried before, you should be now.. Classic advertising tactics around creating a fear to create a market. Unfortunately it happens across the board in advertising… “Do you need help with your feminine hygiene concerns???” “Are you worried about how your children will pay for your funeral?”

    It’s great to try to work out how we can change the culture of how we are spoken to but I wonder if maybe it’s just a reality of how our consumer culture is structured? I think awareness around the formulaic nature of advertising in general can help us to rise above the insecurities it seeks to build within us.

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