Social Kissing

I’ve been meaning to post on the awkwardness that is social kissing for ages but never quite got round to it. I’m a hopeless social kisser. Firstly, I don’t really want to kiss people I don’t know but when you turn up at an event and you’re yanked in for the kill, there really isn’t any choice in the matter. I can even feel myself cringeing which is hideously embarrassing for the person who has dived in to find themselves embracing a pillar of stone making ‘bleugh’ faces. I’ve tried shoving my hand out in ‘shake’ mode and ended up with it crushed to my body in while I’m enveloped.. eek. I’ve tried saying, ‘I’m not really a kisser’ but that seems to generate such discussion that I’ve given up.

The intricacies of social kissing evade me completely… I hung on yesterday for so long with my cheek proffered that someone ended up kissing me twice – after a pause in between – because they didn’t know what else to do. Someone else kissed my hair, got a few strands caught in their teeth and yanked them out of my head as they pulled away. It was mortifying. I rarely, if ever, kiss my family (I kiss my kids.. I’m not that bad!) but never out of choice so why would I want to peck at strangers? Hugs I can do. A bit. I don’t want someone else’s lipstick all over my face any more than they want mine. I don’t want their cold, fever, or cough either. In essence, I just don’t want to body brush with people randomly for no good reason. 

Worse still, I find myself judging others on their kiss.. if it’s a bit wet for example it is all I can do not to gag and immediately consider the kisser a liability. Equally, if it is a bit gentle I assume the kisser has a weak handshake and therefore no spine. If it is too firm a plant that says to me ‘back off, bruiser’. Really, although everyone takes the mickey out of an air-kiss, that is far preferable than actually going body to body.

I’m better at a distance, honest. 

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24 responses to “Social Kissing”

  1. Charlie

    I just think it’s so fake.

    However, I do like to give people I’m fond of a hug when I see them. Brace yourself!

    Reply
  2. Jo

    I don’t do social kissing either. I don’t like people coming into my space, without me saying they can come into my space. A simple hi does me, don’t see why we have to kiss lol.

    Reply
  3. Musing on Beauty

    I feel your pain. In my country, people kiss all the time. Even at work, for cheese’s sake! And I can tell you there are people at work I’d rather not have to kiss every day! I tried keeping my distances and shaking hands only but that works when you’re a newbie. When people start liking you they want to kiss, and not agreeing is considered offensive. *sigh*

    Reply
  4. Beautyjunkielondon

    So with you on that. One kiss, two kiss, no kiss. I have no idea. I might just go in for a full blown snog next time someone goes for the social kiss – that will stop them in their tracks!

    Reply
  5. Eva

    Haha don’t go to the Netherlands then, we kiss everyone three times. At least, there’s a clear rule and usually it’s done affectionately, instead of empty air-kissing. 😉

    Reply
  6. Debbie

    It is a total minefield isn’t it and I hate that bit where you aren’t sure how posh the person kissing you considers themselves to be and you are left hovering in the middle as they never seem to give a body language clue whether the one side was enough or if they think they are really posh and are coming back for more. Hideous. And as for that annoying friend who always always smears her nasty peach frosty lipstick all over your face and then RUBS IT OFF taking all your make up with it, kill me now – I did actually tell one friend if she didn’t again I would insist we only shook hands. She loved me!

    Reply
  7. Sandy Joe

    The proper technique eludes me too! I suppose I’m just not into getting that close up with strangers!

    x The Pretty Secrets

    Reply
  8. Karleigh

    Ha, I always do the cheek to cheek air kiss thing… I’m classy like that 0_o

    Reply
  9. shanice

    i’m exactly the same, personal space should not be invaded!

    Reply
  10. Georgia

    I dont do touching strangers. Shaking hands I guess is ok in certain situations (business situations) but if you go to a wedding say and people want to shake your hand or kiss etc, WHY?? Why cant they just say hello like normal people.

    And hugging goodbye to strangers. Or anyone who isnt your partner or family. Just weird. “Oh I had a lovely time meeting you, goodbye *goes in for hug*” GO AWAY.

    Weddings and other social gatherings make me want to die. Everyone feels the need to touch you when you first meet. A wave will do. Infact just a hello will do.

    Reply
  11. faye lu

    great post! in australia, from my experience, i tend to relate social kissing with social class – growing up in a working class migrant family it would be weird if i air-kiss or even exchanged a cheek-to-cheek with my childhood friends. however, in career and ‘newer’ social circle it’s almost expected and a way of fitting in. never really thought about it until now … but i think it has a lot to do with social class. having said that, having a thai background where any form of PDA is unsightly … i still find it a little odd. again, great read.

    Reply
  12. Miss Merx

    I don’t know what to make of it anymore. I’ve given up.

    In situations I wouldn’t expect it, I’ve gotten it and in situations I’ve totally expected it, I’ve made a fool of myself sticking my face out in anticipation. The shame.

    When I’m pushed, I only air kiss unless its a friend or family. No strangers skin on my lips, thank you…

    Reply
  13. Amy (London, UK)

    Lol, I’m totally with you here…hugs and handshakes cool – social awkward kisses ney…a lot of the time it’s just all for show as in “oh dahhling, dahling…” so pretentious! Totally agree with you on the whole lippy point 🙂

    Amy xxx

    Reply
  14. Summer Loren

    I hate social kissing, I hate it when people touch/hug me unnecessarily so social kissing is so awkward for me! x

    Reply
  15. Aphrodite

    The worst is when they come in for the kiss too fast, you panic and turn your face and they GET YOU ON THE LIPS

    And I always panic

    I hate it so much – air kissing is really stupid too

    Reply
  16. Ms Red

    I’ll strike you a deal, don’t kiss me and I won’t kiss you… lol

    And I HATE being touched.

    Ms Red

    xx

    Reply
  17. Stine

    Oh I feel your pain.

    Reply
  18. Ali

    It must be a European thing. We Canadians confine our kissing to our nearest and dearest.

    I will admit though, the b.s. air-kissing the Beautiful People do is funny as hell.

    Reply
  19. britishbeautyblogger

    I know..it’s all so awkward! I tell some people I don’t like it so they half-remember for the next time – dive in for the kiss, remember I don’t want to by which time I’ve committed so I’m left unwillingly pecking at someone leaping out of the way..arghhh!!

    Reply
  20. Gordita

    Urgh, even in kissing countries it’s awkward. I went from a place where they do 2 kisses to a place where they do 1, but I got muddled up and did 2 kisses, and I could see the look of surprise on the other’s friend, and I cringed when I realised my mistake. I actually like kissing, because in kissing countries the rules are pretty set, and I LIKE knowing the rules. It’s when the rules aren’t set that it gets complicated, particularly here in the UK. Also, most people, thankfully! do cheek-to-cheek kisses. I find it’s men (in kissing countries) who do the sloppy kisses, and only some. I hate, hate, hate wet kisses!
    Gordita

    Reply
  21. Alex T

    A total minefield I agree. If everyone did it then that would be fine but because you never know where people stand on the issue, I always just stand there looking a little bit stand-offish hoping people will just say hi and not attempt anything else! With good friends I havent seen for ages though a hug is always nice. But someone I’ve just met? No thanks.

    Reply
  22. Anonymous

    I’m amazed you even have kids given your stance! 😉

    Reply
  23. Annelie

    British people usually go for one kiss and us foreigners go for two. But never a wet kiss, ever, it is more like airkissing but with cheeks touching 🙂 In Sweden we hug, but only if we know the person 😉 Kissing is deemed pretentious in Sweden…

    Reply
  24. mizzworthy

    *memories of awkward social kiss flood back* God its so difficult!

    Reply

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