Right, well this, uhh, protector, is designed to shield your most intimate areas from sunbeds, hair dye and hot wax. Oh, and to stop a truly all-over spray tan. Did these people never hear of the thong? The website is full of ‘customer feedback’ along the lines of ‘How did I ever manage without the Vaj-j Visor’, etc. How indeed. How have any of us?

I’m actually quite tempted to order some if only to use as jelly moulds for a talking point at Sunday lunch. God love my mum and dad when they discover what’s for dessert!

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