My NOW Friends and Twitter

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I read a feature yesterday in the Evening Standard asking ‘Are You Addicted To Twitter?’ It has been bugging me ever since, because Twitter is a thing that can drag you in, shake you about and never let you go again, if you let it.

I’ve been justifying to myself that in many ways, Twitter is an integral part of my life as a pro-blogger – I talk to readers and other bloggers all the time on Twitter as well as sending links to beauty posts I’ve written. I would have a third less traffic if I didn’t do this.

But, in truth, the lure isn’t the traffic, it’s the fun of it. I pick up some great information, see some amazing blogs via links that I wouldn’t otherwise see, read stuff that irritates, incenses and amuses, and every other emotion in-between. And there, I think is the nub of it. Emotional connection. There are people on Twitter that I call my NOW friends because we are being friendly literally in the here and now with no expectation of commitment – I have no history with them and very probably no future either. Twitter goes quiet on weekends (it livens up again on Sunday evenings) because nobody is at work, so using Twitter for leisure instead of the general melee of work related information and conversation is a different thing – there seems to be dividing line between the people you’d Tweet on a weekday and those you Tweet at the weekend. Some people I Tweet with, I have never met and am never likely to, but I really enjoy conversations with them. If they disappeared, though, chances are that because I’ve got no emotional connection with them, they’d quickly be replaced (and vice-versa, obviously). Some people, I never connect with at all – they un-follow and we have never exchanged on single word. It doesn’t mean that any of these ‘friendships’ aren’t real – they are, but they are transient and only meaningful for the time that we’re in contact. It’s a no-commitment bond if you like.

If I’m even more soul-searching, I think Twitter is lazy socialising for me. I don’t even have to get out of my PJ’s to join a conversation – that can go on for hours! It is far less maintenance that actually having to get dressed and leave the house. What worries me sometimes though is that I see people who are over-invested in the friendships they make on Twitter and think that it can be detrimental to ‘real’ friendships and especially so for those who find real-life socialising awkward or difficult. Down the line, when Twitter is a fad we used to love, how is that going to look for the people who used it as their primary form of social contact?

I do find myself endlessly lured onto Twitter though – I genuinely don’t think I am a Twitter Addict (although certain boroughs are starting to offer counselling help for those who can’t stay away). I CAN stay away, but I’d be an idiot to do so and miss the intensity, the fun, the jokes and the news. Who’d want to miss all that? I find myself saying things like, ‘He/she is a friend on Twitter,’ and sort of hope in many ways that Tweeting proves to be like a love-affair that eventually fizzles out when something or someone else takes its place, or the chemistry just dies so that I can be less quick to rely upon it for entertainment, but I’m not sure why I feel that way, because I am certainly not ashamed to be there.

I don’t think there are any real rights or wrongs in how much you use or don’t Twitter; I am picking up a vibe of ‘oh, I’m always on Twitter’ like it is a bad thing, when generally it isn’t. It’s fine if you are getting something out of it, but the point at which it is not fine is when you get everything out of it.

I’d love to know your thoughts… do you think Twitter is addictive? Do you make less effort outside of your laptop world because of Twitter?


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8 responses to “My NOW Friends and Twitter”

  1. Bare faced chic

    I would describe myself as a twitter addict. But not in a bad way. I do use twitter as my primary social contact as I suffer from depression and it makes dealing with people very difficult. But whilst I have twitter friends, I also have a couple of brilliant friends who I have made through twitter and who I can see myself being friends with for the rest of my life. I think that twitter, used carefully, can be a great way to connect with people who have similar interests.

  2. Jan

    I come and go from twr as much as I come and go from having a blog, but whilst I deeply miss blogging and invariably reinstate my blog after a hiatus, I miss twr less so, probably because I am less committed to it. However if I have not been on it for a while I feel incredibly guilty, as if I am being socially rude – probably my age! Thanks Jane for always being timely 🙂

  3. Charlie

    I had a twitter account for months and months before I got the hang of it and then I did…. those heady days when I first started up my blog…but I never really feel like I fit in. I feel weird tweeting randomness into the ether and I feel weird butting into other peoples conversations. All those are who I am as a person though, in real life and online. I never really feel like I fit in despite small efforts to do so and even if everyone else thinks I do. And so for that reason I feel I’ve never really “got” twitter, I like to keep my hand in, but I must confess that building relationships on twitter isn’t something I feel I can do, mostly the people I talk to are people I already know!

  4. I have to agree with the comment from Charlie. I do go on twitter at some point every day but for me it is completely separate from my ‘real’ life and I could step away from it if I needed or wanted too. I also feel a bit odd just tweeting something random and I tend to reply to people rather than starting a post myself, may be that will change when I’ve been a tweeter for a while (I only joined Twitter last October), but we will have to wait and see.

  5. Twitter is a bizarrely intimate but anonymous medium. I like this random broadcasting aspect and the ability to interact with such immediacy with “strangers” that are awfully friendly. I have interacted some of you commenters here as well.

    I find it is a great tool for self promotion and quick and easy interaction, but I don’t think I’m addicted at this point. At least, I don’t think I am. 🙂

  6. I LOVE Twitter – and between it and FB, don’t need to watch a news programme – just catch up more in depth with a weekend paper and most things are covered. It’s also good to have periods of time – perhaps half a day or few days – when I make myself not use it and sometimes if I’m off doing other things, there’s a natural parting for a while.

    I started using the app Self Control this week, which blacklists sites – have HootSuite on there and has meant greater productivity. I’m going to miss opportunities by not being there sometimes, but how many would I miss because I’m on Twitter?

  7. I’ve just got back into twitter as I definitely go in phases of loving it and hating it! But you’re right, it’s a must if you have a blog as it’s a great way to connect with people and find new content.

  8. Twitter has been a brilliant media for promoting my blog in the past month but it is true that one can get obsessed with it. Last week I’ve decided to tone it down a notch so has to not become “dependent”. On my laptop Twitter is always open and I see it as having the radio playing in the background. Sometime I’ll stop to listen but after ten minutes or so will continue doing the things I have to do. You’re so right about sources of inspiration as well as discovering other blogs.

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