I’m getting a whole rack of press releases insisting that anti-ageing cream, luxury shampoo and bizarrely, a spray tan are just the thing to bring shed loads of joy to my mum on Mother’s Day. I don’t think so. The thought of shoveling my 70 year old mum into a spray tan booth has made me laugh till I’m crying. She wants an Emma Bridgewater mug, and that’s exactly what she’ll get.

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