A Red Lipstick Phobia?

I stick pretty much to nude and neutral lip colours, and if truth be known, my daily lip coverage amounts to no more than the very lightly tinted orange Lanolips. If I do move to something with more coverage, it’s usually a Bobbi Brown neutral lipgloss. At a major push, I can do a particular Dior semi-opaque orange.

I got into a conversation with a lovely make-up artist friend on Friday who said, “you’d look really good in a bright red lipstick; why don’t you wear more colour?” I took him back to the day that I wore a beautiful Clinique red lipstick down Oxford Street and got past about six shops before I had to run into Debenhams and wash it off. People look. Like, they really, really look at your face when your lips are wow red. And I didn’t like it at all. 

Which is really odd. Because I don’t mind in the least vamping up my eyes with black kohl til they’re literally overflowing or wearing black eye-shadow or even black kohl with black shadow and then some…and I am not in the least shy I don’t think, so what is this thing with red lipstick. Why can’t I do it? Does anyone else have this problem? I look at women in the street or at meetings absolutely rocking out a red lip, but yet the minute I do it myself I am crippled with self consciousness… 

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Anyway, when I got home from talking with Daniel, I decided I was going to try again in the privacy of my own home, so I put on the newest Isadora red.. it’s verrryyyy red. And yes, it looks great – he is right. But by the time it came to going out to dinner with friends I had to take it right down to just a stain with gloss over it.

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26 responses to “A Red Lipstick Phobia?”

  1. m4dswine

    I’m a bit the same, I have loads of beautiful lip colours but I hardly ever wear them. I used to be the same with dresses, they just felt too dressy. So I made a vow to wear nice things all the time and I haven’t looked back.
    Bright lip colour takes some getting used to but with a bit of practice you can get used to it. Maybe pick a deeper colour to start with or a sheer colour to start with (MAC Lady Bug is a good one) and practice!

    Reply
  2. PeachBellini

    I adore all sorts of red. For a long time, I’d only wear them in the evening, but now I don’t care. During the day I’ll pair it with a neutral eye. I even wore red on my wedding day, even though all the bridal make up sites/most make up artists try to make you go for nude. I love red and wanted to wear it darn it;-) Be brave, there’s nothing like a red lip and a spritz of No5 to make you feel confident.

    Reply
  3. Hannah

    I can totally relate to this! I own about five billion red lipsticks, but every time I put one on I can’t help but check every mirror/window I pass to make sure I haven’t walked out looking like Bozo the Clown. Most of the time I end up wiping it off because I’ve managed to convince myself that I look awful.

    Reply
  4. britishbeautyblogger

    Twitter says:

    mostlysunnyblog 7:55pm via Web
    @britbeautyblog Well, I kinda really stand out here so even if I wear just a tiny bit of makeup people look. I got used to that 😉

    cheriecity 7:53pm via Web
    @britbeautyblog I guess mattes can be quite drying. I can get away with it for an evening and the benefit is no slippage.

    mostlysunnyblog 7:51pm via Web
    @britbeautyblog eyes, and that’s why I seldom go all out with a lip color. I don’t mind staring much tho. I’m kinda used to it lol

    mostlysunnyblog 7:50pm via Web
    @britbeautyblog The way I look at it everybody has a specific feature or two they really want to play up. For me (and maybe you) it’s the

    cheriecity 7:47pm via Web
    @britbeautyblog Yes, it’s too high maintenance for during the day. Have you tried Nars velvet matte? They stay on well, mine is Dragongirl

    Becha_C 7:47pm via Twitter for Android
    @britbeautyblog Took me ages, and lots of testing! Certainly wouldn’t change from that one now! Keep searching! #powerlips

    mostlysunnyblog 7:46pm via Web
    @britbeautyblog Start with sheerer ones? I haven’t gone full-on vampy red yet, but I love my Guerlain Coque d’Or Rouge Automatique!

    Humplicious 7:44pm via Twitter for iPhone
    @britbeautyblog it’s strange even in cloths ! I can wear neon and about any bright color but I don’t even own anything red !!

    CafeMakeup 7:44pm via Tweetbot for iOS
    @britbeautyblog I was and then I realized red lips are the best thing ever. Do it — your inner diva will love you!!

    AnnaKGB 7:43pm via Web
    @britbeautyblog absolutely LOVE my red lippy, could wear it everyday all day long! x

    Becha_C 7:43pm via Twitter for Android
    @britbeautyblog Same until I found a colour I was comfortable with. Now love it but still tends to be kept for confident days! #MacRubyWoo

    cheriecity 7:42pm via Web
    @britbeautyblog @KatieChutzpah I feel more dressed with red lippy, but I don’t wear it in the daytime. A good liner is essential though.

    Humplicious 7:40pm via Twitter for iPhone
    @britbeautyblog and again ur not alone ! Can’t ever remember the last time had a red lips on umm 5 or 6 years ago !! I can do coral no red

    Reply
  5. KatieC

    I have the exact same hangup. I’ve found that dark red colours are a bit more wearable because you get the same look but without all the brightness of a true red.

    Reply
  6. The Postcolonial Rabbit

    I’ve noticed this too! I remember wearing a red lip for my brother’s birthday dinner, and and even he (not the most observant of boys) commented on the number of people staring at me. It’s so odd.

    I do like a red lip, but I certainly don’t wear it often. I have to be in the right mood, and uber-confident. Which is ironic, given all mags say you ought to wear a bright lip to pep you up.

    And as per your eye makeup point, I can wear a really deep vampy, near goth lip and get no stares whatsoever.

    Reply
  7. Jane

    I’m like that with red! Recently I’ve found myself being able to wear bright cool toned pinks and purples, but never red! I feel silly in it, like is doesn’t suit me! Boo!
    xox

    Reply
  8. saby

    Le me tell you something funny. I am from Romania, which is a bit like Italy in terms of people staring. I have pretty big lips, so when i wear a red lipstick, I get blatant stares and some nasty sexual comments. I went to London and for the first time in my life I felt left alone since people were not staring at me. So it’s a matter of perception. So what if they stare? Wear it !

    Reply
  9. Jayne Becca

    I also have a huge phobia of red lipstick! I’d love to wear it & as a blonde it would probably suit me but I just don’t have the confidence to pull it off! x

    Reply
  10. Anonymous

    Not wearing red lipstick in my every day life – but in London I wore the Revlon Just Bitten stain that’s bright red, with no other make up (touch of blusher, only) and no one stared at me.

    Reply
  11. stephaniepomfrett

    I decided that this year was the year I would wear red lipstick! I started out by wearing Poppy King’s No 7 lipstick in ‘History’, which at the time looked really, horrifically, self-consciously red, but now seems really muted compared to others I wear! I also had never worn lipstick really, before taking the plunge- then I started to wear Clinique’s Almost Lipstick in Black Honey, before moving on. I did a post on my blog about my four favourite reds recently, it’s my most popular post! I think a lot of women would like to wear red, but don’t have the confidence- I think it’s all about choosing a shade that’s right for you, isn’t it?

    Reply
  12. emma

    Yes I have that problem!Ilove the look of a classic red lip on other people but I just don’t feel like I can pull it off.The funny thing is I quite like a brighter pinks sometimes which I suppose is not all that different! I’ve just found a couple of nice products to ‘ween myself’ into a red lip lol-clinique chubby stick in super strawberry (a muted red, not too bright, that can be built up) and lanolips tinted lipointment in apples (a brighter red that can be worn really sheer or built up). I’m enjoying using both of those at the moment 🙂 x

    Reply
  13. lil-bee

    I have the same problem 😛 I think its because red has such a femme fatale kind of association? Idk … I’m all red at home but never out 🙁 the only red lippy I’ve been able to rock has been Duwop’s Private Red .. I feel like its less in your face / suits to your skin 🙂

    During my final exams at university, this girl came into the library with the most perfect red lips and some mascara and sat opposite me and I kept staring at her … I’d had to pinch myself to stop and yet found my eyes going back to her face just because she looked so good in them!

    Reply
  14. Ryou

    I think it’s self-consciousness, in the end. I have no problem whatsoever wearing red lipstick since I learned that I wear make-up because I like it. I don’t wear it for other people. And if they don’t like it, it’s their problem.

    Keep your chin up and don’t let the voices in (and outside) your head bring you down.

    Reply
  15. casey23

    And here I thought I was the only one with this problem!! I really hate the attention red lips get on! Probably one of the main reasons I can’t wear bold colors.. I always use sheer lipsticks or lipbalms or similar stuff but never a bold lipstick! I am trying to lose my freight but trying a little more colored lipsticks (I usually try colors like mauve, or coral stuffs, ones that flatter my skin best) but one of these days I will get a red lip….. gloss 🙂 And we’ll see where it gets me..

    Reply
  16. Katie Nicholls

    I can totally relate. I do all sorts of crazy and over the top eye make up at times but have never been brave enough to try a bold lip! I just don’t think that colour really suits me, either that or I just haven’t found the right one yet.

    Reply
  17. dailypolish

    It’s funny you should write this because I used to be the same and now I search for the reddest of the red. I was always very self conscious about my lips, I was bullied for tears for having big lips and so I would wear Chapstick but nothing tinted. Why on earth draw attention to my lips?! Then I read on a blog in 2006 (I think it was on Scrangie) about something called Midieval, a super sheer red that suited everyone. I bought it and even that was scary and I was convinced everyone was laughing but I was determined not to be ashamed of my mouth anymore and eventually I loved it.

    Which isn’t to say that my go to lipstick isn’t a Lip Chic that’s my lips but better (for laziness and neutrality of my face should I decide to do something later) but red lipstick (and it’s many varieties) have become my nude.

    It can be done!

    xo
    Sara

    Reply
  18. time4beauty

    4-5 years ago I wouldn’t belive that I ever wear red lipstick, but now I have a collection of 50 and some red glosses too. Now it’s very hard not to wear red lips (except of summer). As for people, well, let them look )))

    Reply
  19. ohjoiedevivre

    I’ve always loved and worn strong, bright lip colours. There’s so many shades of red nowadays, surely you’ll find one you can wear with confidence. My current fav is Rouge Coco in Orchidee.

    Ali

    Reply
  20. Jan

    I relate to everything you have said Jane. I loved a red lipstick and nothing else when I was 20, but that is 26yrs ago and frankly the upkeep and the feeling that I am being stared at and judged (all in my head)I do not want. Maybe it is a confidence thing but I would be just like you and whilst I have purchased several red lipsticks in the past 3 months I have worn them enough to photograph myself in them in order to do a post!

    Reply
  21. Just me, Leah

    I don’t have a phobia of wearing red lipstick, but I have to be feeling VERY confident to wear it to feel OK with the stares I know will come. I don’t find so much people stare when I wear it – to be blunt MEN stare. I’m no great beauty but when I wear red lipstick men stare and it makes me blush. I wore a vampy dark red to work one day and one of my (male) managers couldn’t make eye contact, he was staring at my lips the whole time as we talked. That kind of thing makes me uncomfortable.

    However, if I’m feeling tip-top and want some attention, red it is!

    Reply
  22. Trimperley

    I can’t do red lipsticks, my mother could carry it off. I wonder if it is a generational thing? If you’re Generation X it’s difficult because you were brought up with nudes.

    Time4beauty looks great in red

    Reply
  23. Sarah

    I think it’s a bit like wearing a hat – it takes a bit of nerve to wear, but gives you confidence once you do. I really recommend By Terry Rouge Terrybly in Frenetic Vermilion – if you’re going red, go RED. I’m convinced this suits everyone.

    Reply
  24. What Happens to Lost Socks??

    I think Red is overrated.. to me it is an old lady color

    Reply
  25. Liana

    I am exactly the same. I feel far too self-conscious. I wore it once to go and visit my mum. I travelled down on the train and had actually just about started to feel like I looked good and it was really no big deal at all. However, the first thing my mum said when she opened the front door was ‘Don’t you think that’s a bit much for the day?’ and I went scuttling back to my faithful peachy nudes.
    The other issue I have with red lipstick is thata no matter how much lip lining and blotting you do it doesn’t wear well. If you don’t keep an eye on it and touch it up constantly it looks decidedly rubbish whereas a neutral colour wears down far more naturally.
    I’ve been no help at all have I?:-)

    Reply
  26. yasmin rebecca

    i have this exact problem, i have about 15 shades of pink and even a very questionable tangerine, i even tried out the dark plum trend last year but cant do red. i took the plunge last week and bought revlons matte red, tried it in
    my home and took it straight off. i think the problem i have is that i dont feel i look like me with red lipstick, probably because i never wear it, vicious cycle!!

    Reply

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