Although I don’t use my site very often to speak about anything other than its main topic of beauty, this is something I’ve thought about all day and know that in this instance it’s the right thing to do. Not least because members of the LGBT community feel that there is less focus on the gunning down of 50 men and women in Florida at the weekend than there has been on other senseless killings.
I’ve scrolled all through my timelines and while there are some messages indicating support, it’s nowhere near the same level as other incidents, so at the very least, I can add my voice of anger and upset. As someone who was actively unfollowed for ‘offensive content’ after speaking of the Caitlyn Jenner MAC lipstick – the only time the unfollow reason has been deemed offensive in 8.5 years of blogging – I know it’s an issue that people have varying thoughts on.
In beauty world, there is an intense diversity of culture, creed, skin tone and sexuality, and somehow we do work as one – beauty is the common bond that ties people from every walk of life together. I guess you might think that gender/sexuality isn’t relevant to a lipstick, but skill, creativity and talent doesn’t just fall to one group of people, it falls to many, and we are lucky to have a wealth of all those things in the beauty industry in the UK.
So, when you pigeon hole someone on the basis of their sexuality alone you are missing so many other things. How people choose to love shouldn’t be any kind of discriminating factor, we should just be glad that they do. Getting too interested in other people’s intimacy really suggests an inability to see bigger picture stuff as a whole and that’s a problem. Gender or sexuality isn’t relevant to anything at all unless you make it so.
LGBT communities still struggle against discrimination – it’s shocking that who you lay your head down next to makes you a target for any kind of hate behaviour. Working in this community means that I do not and will not judge anyone based on sexuality, religion, culture or race. I can’t change anyone else’s beliefs but I can put my words down here and say that I’m so sad for the parents, lovers, children and families as well as the victims. In the face of this, who’s loving who, how they’re loving each other and where they might be doing so is beyond irrelevant. Anyone should be able to walk down a street, eat in restaurant or go to club without fear for their lives; the fact that sexuality was the reason for death and injury is just painful.
There are a lot of hard issues to face about yourself if you judge on sexuality alone because love doesn’t have one face, it is multi-faceted and I think we know the world does better on love than it ever has on judgement. I’m proud of my friends and family from the LGBT community and support and stand beside them in being exactly who they are.
NB: Update. I’m seeing so many amazing Instagrams from beauty bloggers/vloggers/Instagrammers on the #loveislove tag – look them up and join in with painting a rainbow on your face or body.
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22 comments
Thank you Jane for your post, it feels good to read these very wise words.
This kind of post is really the reason why your blog matters so much to me.
Thank you for posting this. I’m gay and the massacre really hit close to home, despite the geographical distance. I think more than ever everyone needs to understand that our work is not done, we are still marginalized and at risk. What’s making the aftermath even more painful is how the media is rushing to label the massacre as an act of Islamic terrorism rather than an act of homophobia. It’s like LGBT people don’t matter unless we can be used to fuel islamophobia to benefit the far right – the same people actively limiting our rights. I wonder if they’d be so quick to label it terrorism if the killed had been a white christian.
It’s clearly a specific LGBT targetted attack. But it is also a kind of terrorism in its way. I think the first message has got lost in the second – frankly it’s awful whoever was involved for whatever reason, but singling out LGBT is scary and highly worrying.
What a brilliant post Jane, it reflects my feelings exactly. My heart breaks when I see the relatives waiting for news. Beiing a mum of two sons, I am filled with horror and unspeakable sadness when I see mums waiting to see if their sons have survived, and I will never forget the mum who had to read texts from her son describing the horror that was befalling him and his friends. It makes no difference to me what sexuality anyone is, it’s just beyond belief that it should matter to anyone.
Thank you Jane,
Today you have made me very happy that yours is the beauty blog I chose to follow.
The silence from my straight friends (and family) on social media, has shocked me to my core, these are people I know are very vocal on social media too… and I have seen many similar posts from my LGBT friends, who feel the same. Add to that The Daily Mail, Sky News etc. treating us as insignificant. My thanks to you. Sincerely. You’ve made me feel valid, from someone I value.
You are so welcome. x
*standing ovation! I couldn’t agree more. What has happened is a discrace to humanity.
That’s such a beautiful and caring post. Thank you so much for taking the time to add your support and kindness. A friend of mine from the generation where being gay could mean prison time died recently. His public role meant that, for pretty much 2/3rds of his life he couldn’t ever have a relationship because he was gay. He had to choose between his work (which he loved) and his personal life. He was a wonderful man, brilliant and honest. That anyone could think it was right or ‘Godly’ to make someone live like that should be ashamed of themselves. What’s happened is heartbreaking, but looking at the pictures from around the world of folk coming together to condemn such hatred, the better part of love will win out. Thanks again for being ‘the thinking woman’s beauty blogger’.
Hear, hear! I live in Florida, a couple of hours’ drive from Orlando, and I have been shocked at the crickets on social media in this area. I think you can add to the anti-gay bias that many of the victims seem to have been Hispanic, so there are two prominent biases at work there.
It breaks my heart.
I hardly recognize my own country anymore. Maybe I was just blind to it before, but I suspect the internet has made it so much easier for people filled with hate to connect and to justify one another’s ugliness. They are emboldened in their demented views in a way that I haven’t seen in my lifetime.
Great post. I must have picked my Twitter follows well as I’ve read only sorrow and understanding (apart from sky news which I might unfollow so I don’t have to look at pictures of Trump’s smug face every couple of hours!)
Unfortunately as with all tragedies these days the trolls seem to come out in force and I’m seeing some terrible insults to others showing how bigger and twisted some people can be.
Easy to be brave behind a computer screen. I haven’t seen anything much other than support.. but not enough of it if you see what I mean.
Well said
A beautifully written post that I couldn’t agree more with.
What a beautiful post. The beauty community should absolutely be about celebrating everyone, especially since it’s mostly made up of women and LGBT people. We have to look out for and love one another.
Thank you for this Jane. Very glad you gave space to such thoughts at a time of sadness when this support is really important.
Amazing post.
Bravo Jane! Couldn’t agree more with you and the above comments! xx
I grew up in Orlando, it’s where I call home. The area that the shootings took place happened is the location where I went to be myself, have fun, dance, watch The Orlando Magic, a basketball team be formed. It’s where we went to forget about reality for a little while. The trauma center where the unfortunate victims were taken is where my mother worked as an ICU nurse for years. I have spent countless times there trying to get help for my own health. I hope that the staff is still just as dedicated and skilled to help those that are still suffering.
I can’t even put into words my emotions but I have shed many, many tears about this. But I feel like an abberation because my husband wasn’t offering me the support I needed, although we’ve talked and I understand why he intially acted in the way he did.
My sister and I were talking about how shocked we are that more people who aren’t from Orlando haven’t really been expressing their support, feelings, etc. about Orlando. On one hand I can see how people would pigeon hole this event because it seems to be mostly geared towards the LBGT community and this isn’t something that happened to a more mixed, undefined group of people.
The reality is we need to see this is one of many wake up calls that we’ve been given. This isn’t an isolated incident. It’s a tragedy that needs to be addressed for everyone that believes and belongs in something because one person or a group of people may deem it to be wrong. If you think this won’t happen to me because of you believe and live you life according to what’s deemed as ‘normal’ to society you are wrong. Look at history- the Holocaust, Slavery, 9/11, the attacks in Paris. NO ONE IS SAFE, NO ONE.
If you don’t like who I’m kissing- don’t watch. If you don’t like what religion I am don’t come to where I pray. If you think you need to take me out because my hair is purple and in your mind it must mean that I’m a deviant don’t talk to me, don’t get your hair dyed…I don’t need you in my life. It’s none of your business what I do, what I believe or who I love because I’m not trying to force my beliefs on anyone else. This whole feeling that it was a hate crime is very similar to the mentality that people get sexually assured because they looked a certain way or were wearing certain clothing.
It’s time people wake up. STOP THINKING THIS WON’T HAPPEN TO ME BECAUSE I’M NOT ____.
The tragedy in Orlando is horrendous and we need to learn from this. You never know what it could could inflame someone to the point of senselessly killing others for what they believe in.
I’ve been chronically unwell for years. This time, I’ve been sick for 7 years straight, every day, many times every hour of every minute. As for the last year I’ve been
bedridden, I’m not seeking pity- as we are all given challenge this is mine and there are people who are suffering much more than I am. My point is I rarely get to leave my house and these days it seems that is a blessing. I have family and loved ones who are out in the world and it’s very scary to think someone I love could be involved in such a horrific way at any moment, at any time.
I do appreciate the support I’ve seen but it’s disheartening that people aren’t up in arms because they think this was an attack against people who love or live in a way that isn’t ‘normal’. Like I said before we are a world that is diverse and killing people because they don’t hold the same beliefs as another is inhumane.
Jane thank you for speaking out about this and many thanks to your followers sharing their support. It’s comforting to see that people millions of miles away from my home offering love and support.
Namaste,
Sarah
Thank you for your very thoughtful and articulate comment xx
“.. it’s not who we love, it’s that we love” that matters in this world. Bravo and thank you Jane, beautitful. xxx
Thank you for this post. It’s so devastating and sad. My heart breaks for everyone. We have to spread love and peace. I am hugging my loved ones tighter and I will be loving more freely. xo
Mel | http://www.thegossipdarling.com