Social Media vs Social Skills

I read a very cool piece on social media at www.businessinsider.com . Although he was harsher than I would have been, one of the points that resonated with me was this: “You’d never give the intern permission to write the corporate press release to accompany an announcement, so why the hell are you listening to the 22 year old who says, ‘We’re going to do this social media thing because it’s cool?” 

And it is a very, very good point. Why would you? In fact, why DO you? It’s just a plain fact that my in-box is full of clumsy social media attempts from, well, Jedward, basically. When I had a mini-melt down over a really awful approach the other day, I ended up speaking to the guy whose genius idea it was. It was actually scary how few social skills he had in dealing with someone rather cross. He made things 100 times worse instead of just a tiny bit better. Not everyone has amazing social skills, and it doesn’t really matter in many walks of life, but in social media it does. It’s occurred to me that this is really what is wrong with so many approaches and why they go wrong.
Here’s one that I’m using my new ‘delete, don’t react’ policy on, just for the sake of sanity.
Hi Editor,
I’m working on the online marketing for a client of mine who is a highly respected XXXXX. The client is XXXXX and they have their own range of beauty products in the marketplace. As a well placed beauty blogger I thought your blog at British beauty blog would be a great place to get some coverage of the products. I have products that I can send out and I was looking to get some reviews of the products themselves. 
I think the site would speak really well to my client’s demographic so look forward to hearing your thoughts!”
Can you see what went wrong there? Hi Editor for a start. I mean it is almost endearing it its simplicity, but making a mistake on the blog name half way through is kind of unforgiveable. And, to be blunt, I just couldn’t give a sh*t whether ‘the site’ speaks really well to his/her client’s demographic. Really, I couldn’t. This is a very good example of my original point – why did you put the 22 year old in charge of social media? Don’t do it anymore. Please. Or if you must, don’t let them on the phone and please try and ensure they know how to rattle out an email that sounds intelligent, informed, mannered and personal. 

I’ve got a whole file of social media bloopers.. I’m collecting them like I collect nail polishes and can safely say that while my nail polish collection has been years in the making, my bloopers file has taken moments. It would be nice to know that somewhere in the ether is someone who has a mix of both social media skills and social skills.


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20 responses to “Social Media vs Social Skills”

  1. Ms Red

    lol Id love to see your collection of bloppers tbh.

    Ms Red

  2. Excellent post! Obviously not everyone has good social skills, but you do need them in this business, so I totally get your point.

    So well done for your ‘delete don’t react’ policy :D, you need it sometimes!!!

  3. Oh please, please share more bloopers! 😀

    As a brand owner I’d be absolutely mortified if an agency was contacting bloggers in this way…!

  4. Grace London

    My favourite ever email approach blunder was ‘Hi! I love your blog [insert name of a blog that ISN’T my blog here].’

    Oh dear. The really good and personable ones do stand out like beacons of light and pleasantness though.

  5. beautydiarist

    I am a bit old school here – old being the operative word, and whilst I can be a bit wayward in my spelling, I cannot abide poor grammar, I am that awful dinosaur who spells out every text message in full that I send, hence no mobile phone, there is no point. I remember a very informative programme about the development of the teenage brain, which stated that the teenage brain cannot recognise different facial expressions (they did experiments), the subtle differences between fear and anger say, this part of the brain is not fully developed until the ’20s. I remind myself of this everyday when trying to communicate with my 18 and 15yr olds. It stands to reason that if there is not the face to face element (albeit with its limitations) the written interaction will be doomed. Sorry, I fear I have gone a bit off piste here and will step away from the soap box. Jan x

  6. Ha, I got this EXACT email and thought the EXACT thing! Why do I care that my blog fits with your demographic? What’s in it for me? I’m sick of getting emails which say I’d like X, Y, Z from you and in return I can send product. Erm, again, what’s in it for me???

  7. I find myself despairing more and more at the social skills of the young people I see around today. What people don’t appreciate about social media is that it is no different to traditional media and communication, and the same skills apply, if not more. 93% of all communication is non verbal after all!!

  8. I get your point BeautyDiarist.. it is a bit of a sweeping generalisation but a reflection of how it feels to be on the other end of it. I really don’t mind so much about spelling and grammar and always try not to judge on that too much (my son is dyslexic so I bear that in mind) but it’s more the lack of professionalism in the content and the overall tone. My spelling and grammar isn’t amazing either.. I think it’s how you say a thing that is important and if you are cold-calling via internet it is crucial that you have the skills to communicate.

  9. Anonymous

    Dear BBB,
    Get over yourself! Yes, receiving these types of emails is frustrating, but you getting so bodered that you use your blog to vent reflects badly on you. Get back to writting what we’re really here to read.
    Just delete.

  10. Dee

    I don’t get all that many contacts from PR people because I’m super low key and I don’t encourage it in the slightest. However, almost all of the ones I have received seem to have been written by a lolcat. Atrocious spelling and grammar, random capital letters, no capitals where there should be one, run on sentences… I could go on for days. It seems to be that for every person setting up a blog to snag freebies these days, there are two others setting up a craptacular PR ‘company’. I can’t believe that someone is actually paying them for their services.

  11. Ali

    I’m another on the grumpy old bat wagon. I don’t hold youth against anyone, but by the time you’ve graduated, I don’t think it’s beyond the realm of possibility that you can a) communicate in non text-speak b) know the basics of good grammar and c) be able to spell. *harumph*

    The approach on this one is clumsy, but I’m going to be generous and assume the writer would improve with more experience. Or not.

    Can’t wait to see more of the gaffs you get. You could make a monthly column of them. It might even be funny.

  12. Debbie

    Why is it on every post about spelling, grammar and the written word there is an Anon comment that contains egregious errors? It’s almost as if they set out to prove the original post right!

  13. Alex T

    I’m 22 and I guarantee I would never send such a pile of tripe. I think its less about age, more about intellect.

  14. Anonymous

    It’s not very fair to blame a 22 year old/intern/PR assistants. How do you think you made them feel by balling them out over the phone? First of all they are only following instruction from their superior, but most importantly how are they ever going to learn unless they get stuck in. Blogs are still seen by many companies as secondary to print press, unfortunately that may never change. Just give the office juniors a break because you sometimes come across as over-touchy and a huge moaner. Don’t like dealing with beauty PRs, don’t write a beauty blog that attracts them.

  15. Hi Anon.. I’m not really blaming the 22 year old.. in fact age isn’t really relevant, but social skills are. And before you leap to assume that it was some poor cowed intern quivering on the other end of the phone, it really wasn’t. It was an arrogant schmuck who thought he knew better about my blog than I did – we actually ended up speaking to try and mend bridges but his superior and know-all attitude put paid to that.

  16. Alex, I agree.. it’s how you say a thing and that isn’t age related, but because SM is such a new arena it attracts a lot of young people who know all the facts and figures but don’t know how to communicate. Ultimately, they are being paid to communicate effectively and always want something for nothing so they can continue to get paid!

  17. To the first Anon – actually, posts like thse are why some of use read thos blog. BBB has been dealing with beauty PR a lot longer than most of us so I appreciate her taking the time to make posts like this that spark discussion.

    Beauty blogs are still seen as bottom of the pile or an afterthought by so many PRs and it can be frustrating to get blanket emails that show the person sat behind the computer has no idea what your blog is even doing. Even worse, if you do decide to go for the product you get told your stats aren’t actually good enough for their product.

    I had one recently that offered some products that I would have been interested in, until they commented on my “hair & fashion” posts. You can count my hair posts on one hand and I’ve never touched on fashion on my beauty blog. Clearly, they’d picked up my email from some list and had never been near my blog.

  18. Anonymous

    As a 22 year old intern myself (not in the beauty industry) I understand that making mistakes is an important part of the learning process…learning from someone else’s mistakes is even better. Could you please post an example of a good approach?

  19. Such an interesting read – thank you for this. Great question by the latter Anonymous – would also love to read an example of a good approach.

    X

  20. A Lauren to Herself

    I agree with anonymous to be honest. They’re just learning after all. xx

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