More press releases heading my way on detox patches. People, they just don’t work. The ones I have promise to give you a radiant complexion – and yet, you stick ’em on your feet. Even I can see there is something topsy turvy about that. Interestingly, the claims that the dark sticky marks that appear overnight on the patches that claim to be expelled toxins also appear if you wet the patch slightly and leave it on the radiator overnight. Tut, looks like I’ve got a toxic heating system. Really, if you want to detox for better skin, drink lots of water instead. Rather than costing £29.99 for a 20 day supply, it’s free – from a tap near you.

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