We all know what it’s like to feel rotten about our skin, whether it’s a childhood scar or stretch marks, but I had no idea that body scarring was such a huge issue for so many women. A survey of 3000 women by Bio-Oil suggests that stretch marks or scars are a hinderance to, or stop them completely, from being intimate or even going out. Wow. Another 8% try to hide their scars or stretch marks from their own kids.
There are lots of other statistics from the survey, but those two on their own sum it all up. Scars and stretch marks are SO common – almost everyone has them to some degree or other. I’ve got a scar on my face from being smacked with a glass ash-tray right under one eyebrow; I’ve got more scars from an allergy related issue than I can even count and while I’ve been lucky enough to escape any serious stretch marks, my boobs certainly wouldn’t stand any scrutiny. A scar on my knee from having a wart removed as a child is easily the most unglamorous thing anyone could possibly have, as is the one over my top lip as a result of hideous cold sores. See, so normal.
I know exactly what it is like to have people ask what ‘those’ marks are, all the time – especially in summer when the sun causes horrible and unavoidable discoid red welts all over my neck, chest and arms and my back. On holiday I have to take steroids to stop it happening, but they have side-effects. In effect, I have about two weeks of the year when I am ‘scar’ or ‘mark’ free. In a further irony, I also have a condition called Cold Urticaria, which means my face, lips, ears, hand and feet swell in cold conditions and become intensely red, hot and itchy as well. Being allergic to sun and cold is unbelievably annoying, and it means there is always an obvious sign or mark on my face that other people don’t have. My attitude is to just ignore it: I can’t change things and I don’t mind people being curious. Once they’ve asked, and been told, that’s it. I just say ‘sun allergy’ or ‘cold allergy’ and they nod sagely, and never ask again. And, over time, once they know what it is, they stop seeing it too. I don’t let the sun one stop me wearing t-shirts or a bikini, and I don’t excuse the way I’m dressed in winter (bundled up like a snowman) either. But I didn’t just come to that calm approach – it took quite a long time.. one memorable occasion screaming hysterically at my poor doctor, “I’m a beauty editor and I look like a leper.. do something.” My scars are nothing, absolutely nothing, compared to many people’s and if they can deal with it, so can I. End of.
So, all this ramble is really to say that if you do have scars or stretch marks, no matter what the cause, don’t hide them away. They really, really don’t matter.
Bio-Oil’s Body Confidence campaign is encouraging women (and men) to share their scar stories on their FB page here: www.facebook.com/biooiluk
from Monday 10th October. For every story shared, Bio-Oil will give £1 to the British Skin Foundation to help research and help skin issues. Share yours and let’s get this whole ‘I’m not perfect’ thing scratched off the surface of the earth. I’ve shared my story here for that very reason, so go ahead. If you prefer, share them in the comments section and I’ll send them all off to Bio-Oil to upload to FB to get their ££££s rolling in. I’d love to read them.
Transparency Disclosure
All products are sent to me as samples from brands and agencies unless otherwise stated. Affiliate links may be used. Posts are not affiliate driven.
16 comments
I have stretchmarks and really don’t care! I call them Baby Ribbons and each one is a reminder that I have been fortunate enough to be able to have my 4 beautiful children, when too many friends of mine haven’t been so lucky.
I also have 7 scars from moles being removed, including 1 on my chest and one on my boob. Again, I don’t mind them as they too serve as a reminder that I’m one of the lucky ones.
I’m less enthralled by the scar on one knee when i fell off a chair onto a 70s crayola crayon box and embedded it in my knee…
Not mad on the two chicken pox scars on my forehead when i was so careful not to scratch!
I have a lovely scar across one hand from trying to get Pureed baby food cubes out of an ice cube tray and it shattered…
Then there’s the one on my other knee from slipping on some gravel while 35 weeks pregnant, and in trying to protect my bump, I threw myself onto my knees…
Gosh, I had more than I realised (or took notice of!)
S x
Sorry to hear about your cold urticaria and sun allergy. I’d like to say I kind of know how you feel, because I have a mild degree of sun allergy and I’ve been plagued by eczema which likes to show up on my neck and sometimes face. I also have a red itchy eye which does’t look right for most of the year which is probably also allergy related but no one knows.
In terms of scars, I had initially writen a draft blog post about my scar a few days ago when I was feeling particularly down about it. I decided however that my readers probably don’t want to know about it and deleted it.I wish I hadn’t now so I could have copied and pasted it here, but never mind.
Basically I have a keloid scar on my chest which is just over 1 cm in width. It’s red, raised, and itches like crazy from time to time. And, it’s growing. It started off as a tiny scar from a pimple when I was 15 and it’s been growing on and off since. When I was younger I didn’t really care about it (it was smaller afterall), but now I take care to try to hide it under clothing. The only thing that really hides it is peter pan collars or boy’s teeshirts (basically things with high necklines). And I absolutely have to wear soft 100% cotton. Anything else makes it more itchy. And itching usually means growth. My father has one which is protrudes outwards by 1cm and is about 5 cm in length, and his started out exactly the same as mine. Basically I’m terrified.
Dermatologists don’t have a clue what to do with keloids effectively. When I was on my dermatology placement the registrar caught sight of my keloid when I was sitting in with her in clinic and asked me to stay behind. She gave me some sillicone gel (which doesn’t help in the slightest) for free, which I was really grateful for, and suggested I go for steroid injections. My dad had those, and they hurt like a bitch and then the keloid flattened a bit during treatment, and then suddenly grew like crazy afterwards. No thanks! I also heard of people have injections and then developing chronic nervous pain in the region! No thank you!
I wish I could accept my keloid the way my dad does. He doesn’t seem all that bothered by it, and I’m glad to hear that you have accepted your skin problems too. I just feel envy towards girls wearing vests, pretty dresses that bare that part of the chest that I have an ugly mark on.
Maybe I will, with time.
I’ve got a huge scar on my left shoulder following a few operations. It looks like a massive shiny slug! I always used to hide it away but now I’m not so bothered. In fact, it’s become a bit of a family joke – if someone asks about it (which total strangers often do, bizarrely, especially on holiday), we vie with each other to get in there with the most ridiculous explanation. My son won when we were in Mexico when he explained (deadpan) to a curious little boy that I’d been attacked by a shark when I was little. x
Sorry you have sun and cold allergies, they must be a real nuisance. I’m lucky in that most of my scars don’t show up very well. I have several small cross like scars on my knees due to having knee surgery 3 times for cartilage problems. I also have stretchmarks at the top of my thighs from growth spurts when I was younger. And now having had a beautiful baby boy (who is 6 months old) I have a caesarian section scar (he was stuck the wrong way up so wasn’t able to be delivered naturally). I also have stretch marks on my boobs from expansion during pregnancy and breastfeeding. As well as this I have the usual chicken pox, knee graze and minor cooking burn scars and a scar below my lip from falling whilst biting my lip as a child.
Bizarrely enough I have felt much happier in my own skin and about my scars since having my son, I guess I realised that the important people in my life don’t care about stuff like that! 🙂
Sorry you have sun and cold allergies, they must be a real nuisance. I’m lucky in that most of my scars don’t show up very well. I have several small cross like scars on my knees due to having knee surgery 3 times for cartilage problems. I also have stretchmarks at the top of my thighs from growth spurts when I was younger. And now having had a beautiful baby boy (who is 6 months old) I have a caesarian section scar (he was stuck the wrong way up so wasn’t able to be delivered naturally). I also have stretch marks on my boobs from expansion during pregnancy and breastfeeding. As well as this I have the usual chicken pox, knee graze and minor cooking burn scars and a scar below my lip from falling whilst biting my lip as a child.
Bizarrely enough I have felt much happier in my own skin and about my scars since having my son, I guess I realised that the important people in my life don’t care about stuff like that! 🙂
Well this is really timely for me. I’m currently recuping from an operation 2 weeks ago that has resulted in a 15cm scar starting from my shoulder along the length of my collarbone. I would be lying if i said i was thrilled right now at the sight and that part of me doesn’t feel “disfigured” – bye bye strappy/less anything hello polonecks!
However I do know that eventually when all healed i don’t intend to hide it away. As a child, I was badly burnt and scarred on my stomach from a big pot of boiling water falling on me. I remember being convinced as a teenager that no one was ever ever going to like me because of it! I wish teenage girls understood that every single image of perfect skin they see has either got makeup on, lighting, airbrushing etc.
On the stretchmark and general blemish front, I hate hate hate whenever i read magazine articles that have a solution to the “shame”. Also going to get a massage then they ruin the relaxation by trying to flog you some stretch mark treatment for your “problem”.
Men get stretchmarks too – especially fit ones from bulging muscles! Also men think stretchmarks are sexy because they generally only get to see them when ladeez clothes are coming off!
Hi
I also have scars and find them very depressing. Mine are from back surgery ( a discectomy) and I’ve been trying to do everything I can to minimize it. Bio Oil helped ( a little) a new cream called kelo-cote has also been good, but it looks like the only real answer for me is expensive laser surgery-
http://www.harleymedical.co.uk/non-surgical-solutions/stretch-marks–and–scar-removal/
I haven’t tried this yet, so can’t say if it works, but having been quoted £1000 I’d love to hear if anyone has positive experiences before I go ahead with it- seems the only thing I can find that will make a real difference.
It just sucks so much to feel restricted by something that wasn’t my fault- traumatic enough having back surgery and now having scars. I know everyone has different issues with their scars and acceptance is growing, just being comfortable in ones skin would be a nice change. Thank you for sharing your story, and I hope that others come to realize that everyone is unique and models are airbrushed in general.
I have psoriasis which is evident on my fingers (this has recently got a bit better with the use of Pai products though), elbows, scalp (if hair is up), right knee and ears, but when flared up as it is now is still angry, red and very dry and flakey looking.
I have a scar on the back of my right hand, only a small one that looks like a white spot from having a drip in when in hospital as a teen that they forgot to take out.
I also have a bit of spot scarring on my cheeks – again from my teenage years!
I have a dent in my head from falling over last Christmas on the ice and landing on my head. It has been disguised a bit with the use of botox but I can still notice it a bit.
Where my belly button was pierced I have a small scar above as a pair of jeans caught on the piercing not long after it being done.
The thing I’m most bothered about though is the psoriasis and spot scarring – I don’t really have much of an issue with my small scars.
My friend has a large scar on her neck… I say it is large, but I only ever noticed it when she told me about it, I notice the person not the ‘flaws’ for the most part though. She was humiliated on a bus fairly recently when some rude, ignorant man told her to ‘move’ as her scar ‘looked really awful’ – she was with her 6 year old son too!
She’s a strong person so told him that if he felt so strongly about it, perhaps he should get off the bus, preferably whilst still in transit lol! I just think it’s vile that some people think they have a right to say such nasty, awful things!! xx
It’s kinda nice to realise I’m not the only one with bundles of scars. It’s also weird how different scars make me feel. I have two gorgeous fur-baby cats, so that equals plenty of scratches; some big, some small. Funnily enough, those scars please me in a strange way, because I adore my cats and they are a reminder I can take with me. I have a huge scar on my arm after fainting at a modelling casting when I was younger. It healed horribly, and made me very ashamed to show my arms for such a looooong time. You can guess what that did for my modelling stint? I lost all my body confidence and basically gave up. I hate that scar, but like English Mum, I have had fun telling people its a bullet graze or a shark bite 🙂
My stretch marks are the ones I feel the strangest about. I have no real babies to show for them, just issues maintaining a steady weight. Somedays they really bug me – it’s hard for me to pull off bikinis confidently! Then other days they make me feel all rock n roll – mine look like white lightning strikes on my hips! (I told you… strange!) For me though, it was the Regina Spektor song ‘Braille’ that put them into a better perspective for me. She describes them as the ‘braille upon my skin’. I like the idea that these scars are just telling parts of my life story – this is me, I have lived.
x x x
Cold and sun allergies must be awful! I don’t know how you manage.
When I went through puberty I was on a lot of medication for an illness I have that made me put on weight. I ended up with massive stretchmarks (each about 2cm thick and really long) all down my stomach, hips, behind my knees and on my shoulders – in addition to the thinner silvery stretchmarks on my boobs, thighs, inner arms and back. I’ve also had some operations due to the same illness, resulting in some scars across my stomach.
I lost the weight pretty quickly after putting it on but the stretchmarks obviously remained. I’m now aged 20 and whenever anyone sees them they say ‘I didn’t know you had a baby!’ I don’t currently think I could ever date anyone, just because I hate the way my skin looks. I’m fully aware most photos are photoshopped and ‘flawless’ skin is impossible, but I’d like mine a little less flawed, please!
I’m sure one day I’ll get used to them! Until then I’ll continue slathering on creams and oils and hope that they at least improve the texture of the skin by keeping it hydrated and making it smoother if not the scars/stretchmarks themselves.
I thought i was the only person in the world who suffers from cold urticaria. Damn red welts. 🙁 I tell people, they get over it, it’s not an issue. How do you deal with your urticaria? I would love to know! I just carry on with life (LOL how british!)
Also i have scab scrs all over my legs because i seem to scar easily on my legs even with a bloody gnat bite. I still go out with short skirts though cuz it’s not an issue. Anyways if someone is bothered by your scars and stretchmarks, they’re probably not worth your time anyways. Shallowness is not pretty.
I’m sorry to hear about your allergy to sun and the cold.
I have Fibromyalgia and have a hideous hot, swollen red facial rash which needs camouflaging with green corrective powder every day before I feel normal.
I have an 8 inch scar from emergency surgery to remove my fallopian tube after an ectopic pregnancy. It didn’t heal well because they had to open me up after stapling me as I was still bleeding so much (the anaesthetist thought I was bleeding out), and the skin is all deeply puckered inwards now which is really tight and sore.
I have scars on my face from being attacked by a psycho cat as a baby, and one on my knee from having a metal bolt go into it.
Stretch marks – I had not so many in the past – but recently due to IBS I’ve got a lot on my tummy from being so massively bloated all the time.
I’m not a mum yet, but I tell my mummy friends not to be ashamed of their stretch marks. They should wear them like a badge of honour. They’re beautiful like tiger stripes, the sign of bringing a new life into the world.
Scars are reminders from times past, and like Charlotte said, sign of a life lived.
I loved reading this. Scars aren’t often discussed and they should be.
Also, I feel for you, with the allergies. I have a sun allergy too and it drives me crazy!
My scars story started from when I was born. I had a lot of issues with my legs and as result have had around 4-7 operations (I really can’t remember!) from when I was a newborn, up until I was 14. I was recently told I may need another op on my ankle too. =(
So all these various different operations have left me with really badly scarred legs (mostly keloids, a few sunken scars which look like holes, some which are massively lighter than the surrounding skin and big patches of darkened skin too) and it’s all very noticable.
I’ve always been very unhappy with the scars, even going so far as to get depressed about them. At the age of 26 I can accept them more than I used to be able to but I still can’t wear what I want because people ALWAY stare. Even when I wear jeans and sandals and my ankles are on show, people can’t seem to stop looking.
I’ve tried so many things to try and improve the look of the scars but nothing has worked for me, unfortunately.
It’s funny because even though it’s my operation scars that hurt me the most, I still hate the other ‘normal’ scars I have too! The stretch marks, the marks on my upper arms, the scars from having skin complaints…they all bother me.
They bother me because they make me imperfect. I grew up with so many insecurities which still plague me and I wish I at least LOOKED perfect.
But I know nobody is truly perfect.
Ahhh, sorry for going on so much!
All these personal scar stories reminds me of the bit in Shirley Valentine where her Greek lover kisses her stretch marks
“He kissed my stretch marks! No one ever kissed my stretch marks.”
We all have bits which we aren’t happy to show to the world but ultimately they are our marks of life.
I have a port wine birthmark which runs from my shoulder to my hand and because the blood vessels ‘feed’ the tissues, my left arm is much bigger, I have long since stopped trying to hide it, and wouldn’t feel as though it was ‘me’ without it. On many occasions (usually whilst abroad) having massages I am offered sympathy or Tiger balm (!) and frequently get the ‘Stare’.
Although I have numerous other scars, the only skin condition I can really use to identify feeling of embarrassment is when I had really nasty patches of Lichen Planus on my legs which is a ‘self-limiting’ auto-immune disorder, it took 3 years to ‘self-limit’ so I know what it’s like to feel the need to cover & hide and the often fruitless search for a diagnosis and remedy. I even paid for a Consultant to tell me it was psoriasis!
Skin issues matter because they are visible and tell the world we are not perfect, when clearly we are, it belies what we want others to believe about us. But we aren’t perfect and disfigurement of whatever kind is only superficial. We all know this deep down. Dealing positively with major disfigurement is courageous & brave and tells the world more about a person than any perfect complexion ever can.
Thank you for sharing this personal story… I do find it inspiring…
I’m glad there’s someone else out there with cold urticaria! Me too!
A tip for you: take an antihistamine every day (the same as the ones for hayfever) and it takes the itch out of it! I find it’s the worst part of it!