Two things popped up yesterday concerning grey hair. The first was a comment from The Grey Model Agency saying that in SE Asia, dyeing and covering greys is totally a trend, just as we’re embracing the greys. The second thing was a feature in The Tatler about how to keep greys away from your pubic area.

I literally have my ‘oh, for god’s sake’ face on. We wonder why magazines are worried about a declining readership. There were plenty of suggestions, from whipping it all off, asking a salon professional to trim everything down, getting the odd one covered with lash dye (presumably by the same poor professional who’s been asked to give you a buzz cut) or going the whole way and dyeing all of it – any colour you like, apparently. But the worst thing was the last line made in reference to being careful about pre-testing dyes: “So take care. Because nothing is more off-putting than dermatitis in your nether regions. Not even a rogue grey hair.”

It’s amazing what women make their business about other women. This article, with its age shaming implications and suggestions that stray greys are ‘off-putting’ is a good example of how print press can’t stop highlighting everything that’s wrong with older women.

Do as you please with your nethers – if you’ve got a partner that thinks a) it’s any of his/her business whether you are grey down there, or b) would be ‘put off’ by seeing such a thing is absolutely the wrong partner for any woman. What this article has done is made women consider – again – that they might not have an attractive enough lady garden. How can that possibly be helpful? It’s not you and your shades of grey that need to change here, it’s stupid thinking that suggests your body is wrong and needs putting right. Dye it, trim it, plait it even, as long as you’re not doing it because you think what you have is plain or ageing.

Surely, there are bigger issues to worry about. Actually, I read today about a new brand called Fur designed specifically for pubic hair (to keep it soft etc) but while I don’t think that’s something I’d park $20 on (leave-in conditioner apparently is effective) at least it’s about self-care and not self-loathing.

It’s none of Tatler’s sodding business what the state of grey is on your body, it’s certainly not their remit to make you feel somehow ashamed of greys and I’ll lay money on the fact that it’s written by someone with not one single grey pube. I’m a little bit tired of reading features written by female writers that are fuelled by their own fear of ageing and body changes, and not the reality.

If you have it, recycle. Or burn.

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